


The Promise

by HillaryLeonor



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - US 20th c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: F/M, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12058359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HillaryLeonor/pseuds/HillaryLeonor
Summary: Bill left for ten years to study and chase his dream overseas. When he returns, he finds out that things aren't as he left them, and neither is Hillary. Set June 1975.





	1. Chapter 1

“Vernon’s gonna pay for this,” Hillary muttered under her breath as she pulled her car into the airport parking lot. It took her thirty fucking minutes to search for an open parking space and finally, she found one on the farthest end of the airport. Urgh. She kicked herself for accepting this driving gig. Her boss and friend Vernon said she would just have to fetch someone from the airport, and she said yes. After all, it was just driving. However, she had forgotten how bad the parking problem in the airport was. Fuck. As soon as she was at the airport, she regretted her decision immediately. No amount of money could compensate for this hellish gig. She might as well eat a ball of fire and that would have been more pleasant than this.

She was told that she was just going to fetch somebody at the airport. Hillary asked who it was but she was just told to carry a pink purse. The problem was, Hillary didn’t have a pink purse so she was forced to buy one. Fuck Vernon. She would have to charge him for the pink purse too. 

As soon as she was inside the arrival area, she sat on the benches waiting for the mystery man. As a force of habit, she carried her notes from her class and attempted to study inside the busy airport terminal. In fairness to her, she had accumulated a talent of studying at will. She could study and concentrate anytime and anywhere she wished to, and the noisy Chicago airport was no exception. She crossed her legs and propped her notes open. She fished her pen from her pocket and began highlighting important items from her notes. 

11:50am. The mystery man’s plane won’t arrive until 12:30. She could squeeze in a chapter or two. 

* * *

After going through immigration officials, Bill finally let out a sigh of relief. 10 years. It had been 10 years since he last set foot in the United States when he had left for England to study. Boy, time sure flew fast. If Bill hadn’t been looking at the calendar, he might not have noticed that 10 years had already passed. He himself didn’t notice how much he had changed in ten years. He was no longer the tall, skinny boy that the neighbors knew him to be. He had gained weight – a combination of muscle and fat – and his hair, while as thick as ever, darkened its shade from auburn to mahogany. His thick Southern accent was almost gone and had a slight British in it. 

He had changed much. But overall, he was the same old folksy Bill Clinton.  
His arrival was to the US was supposed to be a secret, and he told his friend Vernon to keep everything under the wraps. He specifically instructed Vernon that the person who would fetch him, if he himself could not, would have to bring a pink purse so that he could recognize them. He looked at his watch and it was already past 1 pm. Vernon, or whoever he sent to fetch him, must be in the lobby already. 

* * *

 

Hillary had finished page twelve of her notes when her stomach grumbled in protest. She looked at her watch and saw that it was already a quarter past one o’clock. Shit. The guy she was supposed to fetch must have been circling around the airport for almost an hour! 

She stood up to look for the guy. For some reason, she felt something was amiss.

Oh, my God. 

The pink purse was gone!

* * *

Bill had been walking all around the airport for almost an hour, looking for the person who was supposed to fetch him. He had seen a couple of people holding a pink purse, but after asking politely, he found out that nobody among them had the task of bringing him home. This pink purse shit was a terrible idea. Why did he even think of this in the first place.

Oh yeah. He wanted his arrival to be a secret.

_From her_.

Bill wiped his face in exasperation. It was the very first phase of his master plan, and it was already going down in flames. Whoever knocked off the idea that an apology and reconciliation tour would work? What was he thinking?!   

Right. He saw her picture speaking at her college commencement exercises at an old magazine from the second-hand bookshop in his neighborhood. 

But still, it was an impulsive move for him. She made it clear nine years ago that she didn’t want him. She didn’t return his letters. She was always “out” whenever he called, which was always in the wee hours of the morning because of their time difference. And once, a common friend told him that she was already going out with someone else. She didn’t even have the nerve to formally dump him. 

Thinking about what had happened nine years ago, Bill felt silly for flying all the way to the US just to see her again. 

What good would it do? Now that Bill had given it more thought, he wasn’t sure.  
Whatever he was thinking at the moment, they were all flushed out of his brain when he saw a pink purse lay on the floor some ten feet away from him. 

Shit. 

* * *

“Come on, pickup, pickup!” Hillary muttered angrily under her breath as she waited for Vernon to pick up her call from the airport phone booth. 

“Hello?” she heard Vernon’s voice after three rings. 

“Vernon!” Hillary was flooded with relief. “God, I need your help!”

“Why? Is there something wrong?” asked a worried Vernon. 

“IlostthepinkpurseImsorry.”

“What? Can you please speak more slowly?” Vernon said irritably. 

“Ilostthepurse”

“What?”

“I...lost the pink purse,” Hillary whispered the last four words so Vernon couldn’t hear them. 

“What?! You lost the pink purse?” Hillary could tell that Vernon’s temper was boiling on the other end of the line. 

“Yes,” she squeaked, her eyes tightly shut. 

“WHAT THE HELL HILLARY?!” Vernon finally exploded. “How could you have lost it? How can you fetch the guy?!”

“I am sooo sorry,” Hillary tried to appease Vernon, “Can...can you just tell me the name of the guy so I can page him?” Come to think of it, Vernon could just have told her the name instead of this pink purse shit. 

“No can do, Hillary. He was adamant thatwith the pink purse thing. And I don’t have any way to contact him. Maybe you could just have it announced over the PA that you are the woman looking for him?”

“What? That is so embarrassing. That’s like blind date stuff,” she barked. 

“Except that it isn’t and you won’t be able to get home without him in your car. So, your pride or your convenience?”

Hillary rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. I’ll try looking at the lost and found counter first then PA the guy.”

“Good. I’ll see you over tonight at your house for the payment.”

“Sure thing. Thanks, Vernon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Hillary hung the phone over. She had no choice but to look for the mystery guy herself. 

* * *

"Thank you for this, Sir,” the airport staff said as he finished filling out the found item form. Bill hoped that somebody would claim for this purse so that he could finally go to his hotel. He sat in one of the nearby benches and pulled a book from his bag, reading as he waited for someone to claim the purse. 

A few minutes later, he heard a familiar voice from the lost and found counter. 

“Excuse me, I am looking for a pink purse. I seemed to have dropped it in the lobby,” the voice said. 

“Let me see if there was a pink purse surrendered to us, Ma’am,” replied the staff. 

Bill slowly looked up from his book, and little by little, he saw the petite form of the woman whom he had been running away from for ten years. He froze. He didn’t expect to see her so soon. 

And never in a million years did he think that she herself was the foil to his plans. 

Failed plans aside, Bill had almost forgotten to breathe once his eyes saw Hillary standing in front of him. In the flesh. She was wearing a pair of skimpy denim shorts, a white tank top and a pair of rubber shoes. Her hair was wrapped in a messy bun, but it was still the same brown locks that he loved touching and combing endlessly with his fingers. Her face was not covered in make-up, and it revealed her cute freckles that Bill always teased her for. 

God, she looked divine. 

At that point, Bill was sure that Hillary was the person supposed to fetch him, but he was hesitant to join her. He could hire a taxi right there and leave her in the airport, sparing them both from the drama that might ensue, but he remembered Vernon telling him that he hired someone to fetch him at the airport. If he didn’t come with her, Vernon might not pay her. He didn’t want to inconvenience her like that. 

Bill kicked himself as he realized his mistake.

He never asked Vernon whom he hired to fetch him. If there was anything that remained unchanged in him since ten years ago, it was that he was still a scatterbrain.  
Taking a deep breath, he stood up and decided to approach Hillary. 

* * *

 

“Thank you, Miss.”  
After accurately describing the purse and filling out the claim form, the airport staff happily handed the purse back to Hillary. She breathed in relief, thankful that she could finally search for the mystery guy.  
Hillary was about to look for him when she heard a familiar voice that never in a million years she expected to hear in that airport in Chicago.

“Hi, Hillary,” the voice said.

Yes, there was no mistaking it. It was the same voice that haunted her for ten years. It was the same raspy voice that used to tickle her ear, except that the distinct Southern accent that used to do incredible things on her was gone.

He must have really moved on, she thought.  
Hillary turned around and for the first time in ten years, her eyes clapped against Bill Clinton’s. He was the same old Billy that she knew, except a lot had changed.

“Bill!” she said, her mind running in autopilot. She waved her hand in acknowledgment. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, uhm.” Bill scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I was supposed to be fetched by someone who has a pink purse.”

Hillary froze. That moment, her brain ceased to work. It took her several seconds for her gears to grind back again.

“Oh, I am supposed to do that,” said Hillary, who seemed to be talking in her sleep. “Let’s get on to the car?”

“Sure.” Bill smiled nervously.

It took them almost fifteen minutes to walk from the airport lobby to the parking lot. During that time, neither had the urge to talk, as both were too stunned to say anything. They were completely aware of each other’s presence, and it made them both uncomfortable.

Once they reached her car, Hillary opened the trunk and carried Bill’s luggage.

“Oh, no, no, Hilly,” Bill said, “it’s too heavy, let me carry it for you.”

The mention of the _Hilly_ , a name she hadn’t heard in nine years, only irritated her into ignoring him. She wasn’t sure if he realized what he had just called it, but it boiled every drop of blood in her body. How dare he call her _that_. What gave him the right to do that?

“It’s alright, I got it,” Hillary tried to remain calm in the midst of her rage. 

Bill was stunned when he saw her carry his heavy luggage into her trunk. “Wow. Are your working on a factory or something?”

“Nope,” she said a little too forcefully. “I am working in the snack bar across the street where I live. When some of the guys are on their days off or when I am alone, I carry some of the heavy supplies inside the shop. No big deal."

Wait. Hillary was working in a snack bar? What happened to her dream of becoming a lawyer?

Bill craved to ask, but he feared that he didn’t have any more the right to such information.  
“Let’s go?” Hillary unlocked the doors with her keys. 

Snapping from his trance, he replied, “Of course.”

She slid into the driver’s seat and him into the passenger’s seat. Truth be told, she’d rather have him on the back of the car. 

“Where to?” she asked. 

“Excelsior,” he replied. 

_The rich bastard_ , she thought bitterly. “Alright, Excelsior it is then.”

The drive to the hotel was very much like their walk to the car: silent and awkward. The air around them felt stuffy and suffocating, and it wasn’t because of the humidity or the AC. 

“So,” Bill tried to break the ice, "So, what's new with you? What have you been up to these last couple of years?" He was hoping to get her to open up to him. He'd noticed something different about her, how she wasn't really talking, not like she used to anyway.

Hillary gripped the wheel harder. "Not much, just work and school," she said as they continued on their way. "I'm taking care of Hughie and Tony, so I have to support them somehow."

"School, huh? Thought you would have graduated by now," he replied.

"I did. Valedictorian, of course,” she never missed the opportunity to flex her muscles somehow. “I am now in law school. Working part-time to pay for my studies and my brothers’. I’ll graduate this semester.”

“Law school and work? Wow, Hilly. You’re such a Wonder Woman."

"Don't call me that, and yeah, you and me both, buddy." Hillary, trying to stop the conversation from going any further, leaned over and turned up the radio, even louder. As the song played, she sat there quietly, driving, weaving in and out of traffic, her thoughts somewhere else.

Bill didn't say anything more, noticing how she just basically shut down. Turning his head, he just looked outside, watching as the cars on the street passed by in a blur, his mind going back to the girl he'd left ten years ago. What had happened to her, to make her like this? She wasn't the normal, outgoing, cheerful girl he had once known and loved. She'd become cold, almost as if all the warmth, all the life had been sucked right out of her.

Bill decided not to push further, as he didn’t want her to shut down further. In the middle of the loud radio, Hillary’s stomach grumbled. It made him laugh, and somehow, her heart fluttered. 

“Have you had lunch?” he asked. 

“To be honest, nope,” she said absentmindedly. 

“Since the traffic is killing us, why don’t we stop somewhere else and grab a bite? I haven’t eaten lunch too.”

More time with Bill? Oh no, no, no. “Aren’t you going to miss your reservation at the hotel?”

“No, I just have to make a call that I’ll be late,” he waved in dismissal. 

Hillary sighed. “I’ll just be with you when you eat,” she said. 

“Wait, aren’t you hungry?” he raised his eyebrow. “If I recall correctly, your stomach was the one grumbling loudly.”

She bit her lip. She let our more than she was supposed to. She hadn’t had money to pay for lunch for them both. 

“I am on a diet,” she lied. 

Bill chuckled. “You’re THAT skinny and still on a diet?”

“Yes,” she insisted against the protestations of her stomach. 

“Come on, Hilly. You’ll pass out if you don’t eat,” he said. 

She’d rather pass out than to spend more time with him. “No, thank you.”

“But I insist,” Bill said. “Surely you don’t want to refuse me.”

The veins on her temple suddenly appeared as she almost crushed the steering wheel with her grip. It was a miracle that they didn’t crash the car in front of them. 

“Don’t think everything is about you, Bill,” she grunted angrily. “Sometimes, it’s not.”

And that shut him up for the rest of the trip.  
Following Bill’s request, they stopped over at a local diner. Before Bill placed their orders, he made a phone call to the hotel to notify them of his late arrival. When the waitress came to their table, Bill ordered two sets of burgers, fries and root beer float, much to Hillary’s chagrin. 

“Who’s the second burger for? To go?” she asked as if she was clueless. 

“For you, silly,” Bill said. 

“Can you please cancel the second burger? Really, I am fine. I still have food in my fridge,” she insisted. 

“You’re hungry, Hilly. Don’t starve yourself,” were the words that escaped from his mouth, but what Bill really meant was _let me take care of you_. 

_I should have done that years ago_ , he thought to himself. 

Hillary rolled her eyes. “Fine, but let me pay.”

“Oh, don’t,” Bill dismissed. “Let me treat you. My thanks for fetching me at the airport. It must have taken so much of your time.”  
Hillary refused to give him the upper hand.

“No, really. It’s fine. You don’t have to thank me. I was hired for this after all. I get paid.”

_But I_ _want t_ _o_ , he thought. _You love burgers and fries..._

When the burgers and fries were served to them, Bill could swear that he saw her eyes sparkle at the food in front of them. He was right. She still liked burgers and fries. 

“Come on, Hilly. Dig in! This is for you! Besides, I could not finish all of these,” he invited her. 

For the first few bites, Hillary watched Bill take a large chomp out of the burger as the ketchup oozed out of the corner of his mouth. It almost made her laugh. Same old Bill. Same old Bill who loved greasy food and had no self-control yet still managed to be so skinny. 

It was hard to hate on Bill Clinton when he was happily indulging over his favorite food like a kid. 

And she hated herself for it. 

After all these years, she was still fond of Bill. After he left her to pursue his career and abandoned her when her parents died, there was still a part of her that missed him, that craved for him, that cared for him. 

She was still in love with him. 

Bill noticed that she was staring at him, though he wasn't sure if it was a good thing. He recognized that look and knew deep inside that she was struggling. He knew better than to break her thoughts. Hillary was always threatened when someone tried to break into her internal being. Instead of opening up, she would curl into a ball and wind herself as tightly as possible. If he ever wanted her to open up to him again, he would have to win her trust back. 

And Bill didn't know if that was even possible, considering how much they had hurt each other. 

But that didn't stop Bill from staring across the table, studying the view in front of him. God. She had definitely changed a lot. The bags in her eyes were bigger, and wrinkles had started to show up on her face. She looked like a girl who watched her life’s happiness pass her by. Her eyes were the same bright blue that he fondly remembered, but it lacked the fire that used to flicker back then, when they were still wide-eyed idealist kids, dreaming of taking over the world together. 

"What?" she snapped in front of him.

"You still haven't eaten," he quipped. "It's awkward that I am eating and you aren't."

"I told you, I am not hungry," she insisted. 

"Look, this is getting ridiculous," he said. "We both know you're starving yet you won't eat." He knew exactly the reason why: she didn't want to come out of this as if she was given a favor. "So, just think of it this way: this is my tip to you for fetching me at the airport. What do you say now?"

She sighed. "I suppose you can say that."

"Great!" Bill almost clapped his hands. "Now eat up, girl, and enjoy these burgers. They're delicious!"

Hillary raised an eyebrow as she took her first bite. A single bite completely changed her opinion. "Hey, this is good!"

"See! You know better than to mistrust my judgment on food!"

"I know!" Hillary took another bite. "Damn, I needed that," she managed to say in between chews. 

For the first time in years, Bill caught Hillary smiling, and his heart raced a million miles per second. Wow. He had almost forgotten how her smile affected him. How he would suddenly stop what he was doing just to stare at her beautiful smile. How his bad temper was quickly soothed the second she beamed at him. 

“So, how’s England? You were gone for so long, the Southern accent’s gone,” Hillary asked in jest. 

“Well, it’s all good, all good,” Bill took a bite of his french fry. “Been teaching at Oxford myself. And consulting here and there. I am having the time of my life there!”

“I am glad,” Hillary managed to hide the bitterness in her voice. 

Hillary was grateful that Bill didn’t choose to talk about himself and instead asked about their friends’ whereabouts. One by one, Hillary recounted how their friends were in very successful pedestals. The more Bill listened, the more he was amazed how Hillary was left far behind. Being the most brilliant among them all, Hillary was certain to be ahead of them, career and family-wise. But somehow, she was the most struggling among them. What happened?

Something did. Bill was sure of it. Something happened in Hillary’s life that he wasn’t aware of. Something earth-shattering that it shifted the ground underneath her and made her lose her footing. Whatever it was, he was going to find out. 

And do something about it, if he could. 

Three hours later, Hillary was rubbing her belly, happy and sated with food, completely blissful. “Ah, that hit the spot. Thanks for the tip, Bill.”

“Anytime, Hillary,” Bill wiped the ketchup off his fingers. He checked out his watch and he was surprised how much time had passed. Bill realized that there was another thing that remained unchanged between them: When they were with each other, time became meaningless. 

“Shit, it’s already 6!” Bill muttered under his breath. 

“Shit, oh no,” Hillary scrambled to hook her bag on her shoulder. “Let’s get going!”

"Right behind you.”

The trip to the hotel, unlike in the diner, was silent. Hillary didn't say anything, just continued to race along the crowded street. They spent too much time in the diner, and they needed to get to the hotel right away. She took a rough left-hand turn, nearly causing Bill to fall into her lap. When he straightened himself, he could see the very visible blush creep into her cheeks. He smiled, but only because he didn't know what else to do. 

When she began to slow down, it was then that he looked out his window and saw that they were pulling up in front of his hotel. 

“Here we are, Bill,” she said, catching her breath. “Sorry, it took a while. You must be tired.”

“I know,” he said. “Hey, you must be tired yourself. You can stay in my suite in a couple of hours if you want to.”

Hillary’s face fell. “Oh, sorry I can’t. I have to study tonight. You know, law school.”

“Oh, I understand,” he replied, disappointed. "Well, I guess I’ll just invite you to dinner tomorrow.”

Bill was getting on her nerves. Why was he so persistent to be with her when she signaled a couple of times that she didn’t? “I’m sorry, I have the next few days occupied for studying.”

“I see,” Bill knew she was making excuses, but he knew better than to press. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you when I can.”

_Hell no._ “Sure. I’ll get going then. See you around.”

“Bye, Hillary.”

Hillary closed the door and Bill watched her drive away from him. For the first time in years, he saw her going away from him. Going, going, gone. As she disappeared in the horizon, Bill could not help but feel that his heart broke into a million tiny pieces. 

_This must be how she felt when I left_ , he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for not updating my fics :( Don't worry, I am finished with this one and the final chapter Eagle is halfway done. Teaching, even on a substitute basis, is exhausting. Anyway I hope to update this once a day. Thanks for the love love love!


	2. Chapter 2

Three rings. No answer.

Bill pressed the doorbell three more times and still, there was no response. Judging by the lights inside Hillary’s house and the car parked in the garage, Bill was sure that someone was inside.

"Hello? Is anybody home?” he yelled from the outside.

 Nope. Nothing.

Bill pressed and rang the doorbell again, this time more insistent than his two past attempts. He was getting rather impatient. His arms were starting to grow weary from the weight of the coffee tray that he was holding in his left hand and the plastic bag of Chinese takeout in the other. He figured that if she was too busy to go out to dinner with him, then he would have to bring dinner to her instead.

 “Hillary! It’s me! Bill!” He shouted once more, accompanied by three more urgent door bells.

 Finally, he saw something move inside. A silhouette of a petite girl emerged from behind the curtains and within a second, the door opened, showing the form of Hillary, who was wearing an oversized shirt that doubled as a dress, a scrunchie on her hair and a pair of pink bunny slippers on her feet.

 “Bill? What are you doing here?” she was half surprised and half-irritated.

 Bill sheepishly brought up the coffee and the Chinese takeout for her to see. “I have food.”

 “Oh gee, who would have thought,” she said sarcastically. “Why?” Hillary hung her hands on her waist, exasperated.

 “I just wanted to have dinner with you?” Bill said. Bill was a charming, confident man. No one could able to intimidate him or made him feel unsure of himself.

 Except for Hillary, of course.

 “I told you yesterday, I am busy studying.” Hillary folded her hands into her chest. “You’ll just be wasting your time with me. Don’t you have other friends to visit?”

 “I can watch you study.” _God that was a pathetic excuse._

 Hillary blinked. “Are you out of your mind, Clinton?!”

 “Well, truth be told, I am don’t have anything much to do and I am hoping that I could catch up with you,” he finally confessed.

 She scowled at him. “Fine. Come in, then,” Hillary begrudgingly let him into her house.

Once inside, she directed him to the kitchen, where he saw a mess of notes and books all over the table. There was an unwashed coffee up, a half-filled glass of water and an unclean plate near the scramble of papers. If Bill had to deduce, then he would have thought that she hadn’t left the table for hours. On the surface of the open book in front of her chair was a blot of wetness that Bill figured out was a drool.

So, Hillary had been sleeping when he arrived at her house.

She scrambled to clear the surface of the kitchen table to make space for Bill’s purchases. She stacked her notes in one place and books on the other. When the table was presentable at least, Bill placed the plastic bag and the coffee on the free space. One by one, he took out the takeout boxes and chopsticks for them to share.

“l’ll get some glasses,” she said.

“Oh no, no,” Bill stopped her. “Let me get them for you.”

“No. Sit down and don’t argue,” her finger pointed to the empty chair beside hers.

“But I wanted to and I insist.” Bill’s eyes locked with hers for the first time in a decade, and his stare melted her, like wax that slowly softened at the touch of a small fire. There was a lot going on in his eyes – apology, desperation, longing – and it was all too much for her to bear and so she opted to give in to his request, just so she could break their gaze.

“Alright,” she gulped. “If you don’t mind, I’ll just take a shower,” was her excuse just to get away from him, at least temporarily.  

“Sure,” he smiled, albeit nervously.

Once Hillary was gone from the kitchen, Bill cleared the table of her things. He even cleaned the kitchen from the small heap of mess too. When he was done cleaning, he then prepared the food for them to share. He opened her fridge and he was quite surprised with the difference of her fridge with his own back in England. He found it quite empty, at least compared to his. There were some plastic containers of leftover food, some fruit, a bag of ice cubes and a bottle of soda.

He would have to do some grocery shopping for her, he thought.

He took out some ice from the bag and dropped a couple of pieces in their glasses. He then poured some water for them to drink. He felt bad for Hillary, really. Had she always been like this? Had she not been taking care of herself?

_Who would take care of her, genius? Wasn’t that your responsibility?_ a part of himself berated him.

_But, what about her parents? Where are they?_ another part of him pushed back.

Come to think of it, Hillary made no mention of her parents in the past few days. There were no traces of them in the house either. Maybe they relocated to another place and Hillary was left on her own in Chicago?

Probably.

Bill left the kitchen and explored her house a bit. It hadn’t changed much since the last time he was there. The couch and chairs, the tables. They were all the same. Walking over to the fireplace that sat against the far wall, he began to look at the pictures that sat on the mantel.

There were pictures of Hillary, of her delivering her famous speech at her graduation in Wellesley, of her and her family as they went vacationing at the beach, and more of her with her friends as they celebrated life with each other. She looked so happy, so carefree that once again his mind went to what happened to make her this way. He picked up a picture, looked closely at it and smiled when he saw that it was a photo of her and her friends at a restaurant. They were all sitting around a rather large table, a cake of sorts sitting in front of Hillary, while her friends sat beside her, celebrating. The sign above them read _Happy 18th Birthday, Hillary!_ in bright red paint, while presents of all kinds sat around the table.

_Another important day that I missed_ , Bill thought as he put the picture back on the shelf, next to the others. Picking up yet another one, he stared at the faces that looked back at him and sighed. He could see

her friends, the ones who had stayed with her while he left and went after his dreams. He recognized each one of them, and out of all of her friends, only her best friend Betsy remained, while the others had left her to chase after their dreams and wishes. _No wonder she hates me_ , he said silently. _When I left, so did everyone else. She was all alone._

Bill sat on the couch, his head in his hands, his fingers running through his thick mahogany hair. He had finished looking at all the photos on the mantle, realizing that he had missed the last ten years of her life and wondered if there was any place in her life now for him. Was there any place in her life back then for him? He would have liked to think so. However, he had left so fast, so soon, that neither one of them had time to find out.

Hearing footsteps coming down the stairs pulled him from his thoughts as he looked up and saw a freshly showered Hillary as she stopped on the third to the bottom step and look into the room. She gave a slight smile, the smile itself not reaching her eyes as she descended the stairs and walked into the living room. She had seen him as she walked down the stairs, his head in his hands, his thoughts playing across his face. It gave her the chills, for once upon a time she'd seen him the same way, the night he left.

“Are you hungry?” he asked her.

“Yeah, I am,” she yawned.

“Alright, shall we eat?” he invited her into the kitchen.

Once inside, he pulled the chair for her to sit on. He scrambled to find a table napkin for her and when he found one, he tucked it in the collar of her shirt, like a butler serving his mistress. He waited for her to fully settle in before he himself took his chair and placed his own napkin in his lap. She, on the other hand, was uncomfortable with all the attention he was pouring over her. It felt so…wrong. Like, she hadn’t done anything to deserve that kind of special treatment. If there was anything that the past ten years had taught her, it was that nothing was free. Everything came at a price. Even debts of gratitude had to be repaid.

"What do you want, Bill?" was her quiet question, her spoonful of rice hanging in midair.

Bill took a bite of his food, then lowered his chopsticks, mimicking Hillary's actions as he sat the box down and lifted his glass of water to his lips. Taking a deep drink, he eyed her while doing so. "I don't want anything from you."

"Sure you don't, and I'm the President of the United States," Hillary replied. "Why did you come back? After ten years, Bill. After everything, why'd you come back now?"

_Because I missed you_ was what he wanted to say, but knew better. She would have a whole lot more questions after that one, and he wasn’t sure that he had answers for them. At least, not yet. Instead, he just answered her with a question of his own.

"What happened to you?"

She stared at him, her bright blue eyes tracing every inch of his face. _Why does he have to ask that?_ her mind seemed to scream. She picked up her spoon, and picking up food with it, placed the rice inside her mouth. When she finished chewing, she sighed and said, "I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

"Something happened to you, and you’re not telling me," was his quiet response. He had his eyes on his food, unable to look at her.

Her response was a clatter of rice box on the floor.

“Shit, Hillary. You’re such a klutz,” Hillary scolded herself under her breath.

“No, no, Hilly. Stay where you are.” In no time, Bill was on his knees and was already picking the spilled rice with his hands. Hillary, not wanting to disturb her guest, immediately followed suit and pushed him away from the mess that he made. Bill, seeing the distraught look on her face, decided to back down and let her clean up. That realized that what had just happened with the spilled was a microcosm of Hillary’s life for the past ten years. Every time that somebody tried to help her, she isolated herself and pushed them away. For the past decade, she had no one to rely on but herself.

How could he have left her alone for ten fucking years?

As Hillary cleaned up the spilled rice, she could not help but let the tears fall. Of course, she bowed her head low enough so that Bill could not see. Not Bill, of all people. She never wanted him to think of how weak she was, how she was still a crybaby when left alone, and how her show of strength was just a façade to hide her fright of the world that abandoned her when it decided to forcibly take her parents away from her.

“I’m sorry,” Hillary apologized, her voice starting to crack. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Hilly, it’s okay,” he cooed. “I am here.”

“Stop calling me that!” Her restraint finally broke.

It was when Bill crept closer and his hand landed upon hers that she stopped what she was doing, and she stilled. It was like she was in a daze, her feelings getting the better of her as he spoke to her softly, slowly, and calmly.

“I call you Hilly because that’s what you are,” he told her quietly. “You are my Hilly and I am your Billy. Have you forgotten our promise ten years ago?”

Hillary stiffened under his touch and shoved his hand away. “I wasn’t the one who abandoned the promise first.”

Bill winced at her accusation. It hurt, but it was true. “I-I…” He lowered his head, unable to finish. _He what?_ Bill thought before shaking his head, his eyes closed. When he opened them back up, she was no longer on the floor, but sitting once more in the chair, staring at her box of dirty food. Realizing that she couldn't eat it, she put the container on the desk and sat there, her hands in her lap.

“It was just so sudden," she began, her voice breaking. "One minute there they are, and then the next, they're gone. I didn't know what to do…”

“Wait, who?” Bill knelt in front of her, as if begging to tell him more. He covered her hands his as her tears drenched the back of his hand.

“My parents,” she sobbed.

Bill stared at her, unable to believe his ears. Her parents were dead? “But how?” was all he was able to say. His mind was trapped in a whirlwind.

“I didn't know what I was going to do. My friends said to get in contact with you, to let you know. And at first, I was going to." She looked at him, and for the first time, he saw her, desperately begging for someone to reach out to her, to save her from drowning in the cruel ocean called life.

“And you know I would come back the moment you called,” he replied, his thumb wiping the tears off her cheeks.

 “And then what? Leave me again when you think I am alright?” she snapped.

Bill could not give her an answer, yet they both knew what it was.

“I was miserable when you left for Oxford,” she confessed tearily. “It was only for a year, but it was the toughest I’ve ever had. I always looked forward to your calls and letters, but in between those, I was miserable. But I persisted. I said to myself that it was only for a year, that you’d come back to me soon enough. But my whole world was shattered when you called me one day to tell me that you would finish your degree in Oxford.”

Bill bowed his head, overcome with shame and guilt. He never thought she was suffering so much when he was away. All this time, he thought she was being selfish for getting angry at him for pursuing his dream elsewhere. All this time, it was the other way around: it was him who was pulling her back, destroying her and eating her alive.

And now, she was dead. The life was sucked out of her. She was like a hollow, empty shell.

“When my parents died, I was barely eating. There was no doubt in my mind and in my heart that you would come back to me, despite my anger at you for choosing to continue your studies abroad. But the question still remained that if you did, how long would you be staying and would I be able to handle you leaving again? Truth be told, don't think my heart would have been able to handle that. I was a mess. I didn't want to know what would happened if you had to leave me for a second time."

“I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

She stared at him and knew he was lying.

"I'm not lying, Hilly"

“YES, YOU ARE!” she screamed at him, her feelings finally taking over and letting all her anger and frustration, pent up over the last ten years, loose. “You would have regretted it, Bill! If you had stayed in the US, I know you would have regretted being with me, and I couldn’t have that. I would rather die than to pull you back. And that’s what I did. I wish things ended up differently, but I do not regret stepping out of the way so that you could be successful!”

Hillary stood up, throwing up her arms and flinging them about over her head.

Bill didn't know what to do to calm her down, so he did the first thing he remembered that surely shut her up. He stood up, and taking her shoulders in his hands, pulled her close to him and laid his lips upon hers.

The shock of Bill kissing her momentarily knocked off her capability to think. Instead, she was running on auto-pilot. At first, her eyes were wide as saucers, and her lips were completely closed against her probing tongue. But, there were still things that remained unchanged for ten years, including her weakness to his touch. She tried to resist, but he was too much for her. She closed her eyes and let herself float in the raging river of his love, with his arms as her life support.

Bill, knowing that she had already surrendered to him, closed his eyes and deepened his kiss. He pulled her closer to him, the body that he missed to touch. Oh, the countless wet dreams he had of her. Now, she was there, right in front of her, returning his kisses with the same fervor that he had, gently scratching the back of his neck as her fingers played with his thick hair. Both of them were so lost in each other’s ministrations that they didn’t notice that they moaned simultaneously as their tongues danced in front of the fire of their passion

When Bill finally lifted his head from her, he looked down at her and smiled. Hillary still had her eyes closed, her lips, pink and plump, pursed for another kiss. She looked so innocent, so tender, that he couldn't help himself. He leaned down for another kiss, just one more kiss…

Hillary arched her neck when Bill decided to plunge into her again, his lips lazily probing the hollows of her throat. It was very reminiscent of their first time ten years ago. Not one single drop of desire was lost. Not one degree of warmth has fallen. She shivered and softened against him as he indulged on a slow journey of her face, lips tracing along her temples, over her closed lids, down her cheeks.

Oh it felt good. It felt so good. Bill knew where to nip, to suck, to kiss. He knew every inch of her, and used that knowledge for her benefit. He nibbled her back of her ear, the part where her head connected to her neck, and the tickling sensation made her smile in the middle of her desperate moans and sighs. She drew her breath each time Bill planted kisses on her jaw. Little did she know how he adored her overbite, that cute overbite that he always teased her about, not because he found it silly, but because it was her imperfection that made her perfect in his eyes.

Bill went back to her lips, her sweet soft lips, This time, her lips parted at the first touch. He increased the pressure, degree by agonizing degree. Her hands shot up to grip his arms.

She couldn't think at all, not with this steady roaring in her ears, of their breaths and moans. She had grabbed him for balance, clinging into him as if he was his lifeline, a lifeline that had abandoned her ten years ago. With a quick, helpless moan, she dived into the kiss.

His mouth drank and drew from hers. But it wasn't enough. The taste was hot and sweet, and he craved for more. Tongue and teeth drove the kiss into territory that they only reserved for each other. Still he ached.

He wasn't supposed to ache over a kiss. His head wasn't supposed to swim when she locked herself around him. He wasn't supposed to tremble when she moaned out his name.

He wasn’t supposed to kiss her, and she wasn’t supposed to crave for him after all that had happened between them. And yet, they were.

They thought that the past ten years had torn them apart. But they were wrong. They were so wrong. Wrong on epic levels. If anything, their distance, their anger, their frustration only cemented their feelings for each other.

Nothing and no one could ever take them apart.

Except, perhaps, themselves.

It was not the lack of air that made them pull apart from their deep, diving kiss. No.

It was self-preservation.

It was self-preservation that forced Hillary’s restraint and hesitation into the forefront of her mind. It had apparently been too long since she had felt the comfort of an embrace, or tasted genuine desire on a man's lips. Those were reasons enough to excuse losing herself for a moment. But she was back now. The blood no longer pounding in her head, she could hear the whirl and click of her brain as rational thought came rushing back into her consciousness.

Hearing Bill recognize her pain for the past ten years was like putting a balm in her already dried scar. Nevertheless, it managed to remove a thin layer of scab. She just hoped that the wound would not break open again.

When he had finally caught his breath, Bill said, "You're right. I would have regretted it if I didn’t go to England. I probably would have resented you for it too. And I would have returned abroad the moment I was sure that you would be fine after your parents’ deaths.”

Bill stood, taking the box of uneaten food with him. "I better go. I need to get some sleep before heading off to my interview with some folks in the University of Chicago. I'll talk to you some other time, alright, Hilly?"

Hillary just nodded her head, her eyes still wide. For ten long years, she dreamed he'd come back to her, dreamed that he would still love her, and when he did, she treated him with unkindness.

"I'm sorry," she heard herself say.

Bill, who had been busy dumping the food in the trash can, turned slightly to look at her. "For what?"

"I should have told you, but I didn't. I guess because I was too ashamed of what you would think of me had you known what I had gone through after you left," Hillary said quietly, too embarrassed to look at him.

Bill finished cleaning up after them, then walked her towards the living room and sat beside her, his fingers folded gently in her lap and intertwined with hers. He stared at how different they were compared to each other, her tiny hands fitting against his large ones. He looked up to her, "I understand, but know this: You have nothing to be ashamed of. I am greatly impressed with what I see before me, what you made yourself out to be. And it makes me proud to know you, to have been a part of your life.”

Hillary didn't say anything. She kept her eyes focused in the floor, afraid of looking into his eyes. She just kept staring at the ground. She could feel his intense gaze on her, but she was afraid to look at him. She didn't want to see the pity in his eyes. She was tired of getting pitied at. For almost ten years, she received nothing but pity from other people. However, when she finally got the nerve to look up at him, it wasn't pity she saw.

Anger. She saw anger.

"I'm glad you got to fulfill your dream. Thank you for the food, Bill. I’m sorry, I need to rest. I have work tomorrow," she said as she left for the kitchen.

However, Bill wasn't going to let her get away that easily. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, making her turn around to face him. "I don't think you understand, Hilly. I stayed in England because of you, just like I came back to the US because of you. But a day didn't go by that I didn't think of you. You told me to go, to be the best lawyer I could be and I did that. I meant what I said all those years ago. I didn't want to stay away, but I thought if I did, then you might get over me, maybe I'd get over you. I thought we might be able to move on from each other. But I was wrong.”

"But I did move on,” she whispered weakly.

Bill shook his head. “No, you didn’t. You just learned to live without me. You might say that you don’t love me anymore, but your kisses tell me otherwise. Your kisses…they were the exact same ones I remember from ten years ago, when we were still deeply and madly in love. But I understand if you won’t say it yet, and I won’t pressure you to. However,” he held both of her hands and brought them to his chest, “I will make it up to you. I will make things right. I will court you again if I have to. I will prove to you that I still haven’t wavered on my promise.”

He released her hands as he planted a soft kiss on her cheek and headed for the door.

“Billy?”

He stopped. It was the first time she called him Billy since he came back. He turned around and saw a pair of bright blue eyes, filled with longing and desperation.

“I-I-I’m sorry,” she said.

Bill nodded, because that was all he could muster, his hand stuck on the knob. “You look beautiful, Hilly. You have grown more beautiful since I last saw you. I’ll see you soon, Hilly.”

As Bill closed the door, Hillary’s feet moved on their own accord, desperately trying to catch the man who had just left. But, it was all futile. He was long gone, not going to come back despite how much she wanted to.

Hillary leaned her back against the door, tears silently falling down her face.

“Come back, Billy,” she said weakly. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 'What Happened' Day, everybody! I am waiting for the Audible to finish downloading and I'm gonna listen to Hillary's golden voice for 16 hours. Wahahahahahaha. Also, tea. 
> 
> I forgot to mention this in the first chapter but thank you so much to the amazing [grahamnortonrocks](http://grahamnortonrocks.tumblr.com) for beta-ing this. Thanks honey!


	3. Chapter 3

“Hillary! We’re home!”

Hughie and Tony entered the house after the former keyed the door open. They found all the lights off, and the house empty. They lazily dumped their bags on the floor and crashed in the sofa, drained from their long journey from California. 

“God, I am so tired,” Tony moaned, his voice muffled on the pillow. 

“Me too,” Hughie grabbed the telephone from the stand beside the couch. “I’ll order pizza for us. I’m willing to bet that Hillary’s fridge it empty.”

“Good call, bro,” Tony said, “Pepperoni please. California pizza ain’t good.”

“Alright then,” Hughie placed the receiver on his ear and dialed the number of the nearest pizza place. Three rings, and someone from the other end answered his call. “Ah yes, I’ll have a box of pepperoni please…yes, the largest that you have. Oh, and a bottle of soda too. Mmmhmmm…alright…that’s right…mmhmmmm….okay. Thirty minutes it is, then. Okay. Thanks.”

Hughie returned the receiver once he finished the call. 

“Urgh, thirty minutes? I’m starving” Tony complained, lying on the couch.

“Hey, stop whining, you ass,” Hughie snapped. 

Tony scoffed as he stood up and went to the kitchen. “I’ll check if Hillary has any food. Anything.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Hughie crashed on the couch Tony just left. 

“Yep! Nothing!” Tony yelled from the kitchen.

“Oh, hey, there are some ginger crackers in here.”

“Bleah,” Hughie stuck his tongue out in disgust. “What kind of food does she eat in here?”

“Lawyer food? I don’t know.” Tony grabbed the ginger crackers from the shelf and eagerly took a bite. Much to his surprise, the crackers tasted so awful that he spitted it out. “Ewwww. Hillary eats this shit?!”

“Hey, watch your mouth, you ass,” Hughie fired from the living room. “Your elder sister eats shit so that she could support your education.”

“I know, I know,” Tony wiped the remnants of the cracker with a paper towel, grimacing. “I’m not talking smack about her, but my God, she needs to take care of herself.”

“She doesn’t know how to do that even if you give her a manual,” Hughie quipped. 

“She’s already an old maid and she’s only 27,” Tony remarked. “Hasn’t she fucked anyone lately? I mean, she could really use a boyfriend.”

“Vernon dared,” Hughie recalled, “but Hillary told him that she was too busy for work, school, blah, blah…” 

Tony emerged from the kitchen, suddenly keenly interested in the conversation. “How do you know that?!”

“Vernon told me himself, of course,” Hugh said nonchalantly. “The guy once invited me for drinks and, you know, alcohol loosens the tongue. Told me he was crushed when Hillary rejected him. Her mind was really drifting somewhere else when she did.”

“Well, she has been like that since, you know, Mom and Dad,” Tony shrugged. 

“I know. But I call her excuse bullshit. She’s almost done with law school and you can work for yourself. She doesn’t need to work as hard to support us.” 

“What do you think is her real reason then?”  
Hughie felt that this conversation had taken a more serious turn, so he got up and took a deep breath. Tony noticed the darkened look on his brother’s face so he sat on the chair opposite Hughie. 

“I think she still can’t let go of what happened to her ten years ago,” Hughie confessed, his eyes fixed on the floor. “She’s still waiting for the bastard to return.”

“Who? Clinton? That asshole from Arkansas who left her for his career?” 

“The same one. Either that, or she’s still looking for him in every man she meets,” Hughie said. 

“Good God,” Tony wiped his face in exasperation. “And I thought Hillary is the smartest among us.”

Hughie shrugged. “She was pretty bruised after his departure and Mom and Dad’s death. Remember when she stopped writing to him and talking to him altogether when he told her that he would stay abroad?”

Tony was astounded by his brother’s depth.“ Since when did you become a therapist?”

“I am observant, stupid,” Hughie shot back.   
Tony rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine….”

Their unusually serious conversation was interrupted by a soft door bell. 

“Yay! Pizza!” Tony jumped excitedly from his seat to open the door. And when he did, he was stunned to find not the pizza delivery boy, but a man wearing what seemed to be a bellboy’s uniform. The man was carrying a couple of bags of groceries and was clearly exhausted from this job. 

“Uhm…may I help you?” Tony wasn’t sure what to make of the bellboy. 

“Is this the residence of Ms. Hillary Rodham?” the bellboy asked politely, though he couldn’t help but catch his breath mid-sentence. 

“Yes, this is her house?” Tony was still confused. 

“Oh, good,” the bellboy sighed in relief. “I’m Gerry. I work at the Excelsior Hotel and one of our guests ordered these to be delivered to Ms. Rodham”.

“May I ask who?” Tony raised an eyebrow. Was Hillary a gold-digger now?

“Mr. Bill Clinton, Sir.”

Tony squeezed his pinky finger into his ear and twisted in. Did he hear the bellboy correctly? “Bill Clinton, you say?”

“Yep. You got that right, Sir,” the bellboy nodded. “Now may I drop this off to your kitchen, Sir? These things are pretty heavy.”

“Of course, of course. Come in,” Tony let the bellboy inside, much to Hughie’s surprise. 

"What are those?" Hughie pointed at the bag of groceries that the bellboy just dumped in their kitchen table. 

"Our favorite bastard sent them," Tony said. 

"Who?!"

"Bill Clinton," Tony replied. "He sent all of these."

Hugh's eyes widened like saucers. "What? Is Hillary dating him now?!"

"How am I supposed to answer that question, dummy?" Tony quipped. 

Hugh smacked the back of Tony's head.   
"Ouch! Watch it!" Tony was nursing his head gingerly. 

"Is there anything else that I can do for you, Sirs?" Gerry asked. 

"Oh, yes. Can you please give us the number to the hotel?" Hughie asked. 

"Of course, Sir," Gerry produced a small calling card from his jacket pocket and handed it to Hughie, who muttered his thanks. "That's the number of the front desk, Sir."

"Alright, thanks. Gerry," said Hugh, patting the bellboy's arm appreciatively. 

"Thanks, man," Tony added. 

After a slight bow and a bid goodbye, Gerry left the Rodham brothers on their own. The boys quickly rummaged over what seemed to be at least fifteen bags full of groceries. 

"Wow," Tony gasped, "these are all filled with her favorites! Damn, the Oreos too!"

"There's even an entire mocha cake in here," Hugh said. "Man, Clinton went all out for Hillary."

"He could feed her for a month," said an astonished Tony. 

"He could," Hughie agreed. 

"Oh boy, there's an apple pie too!" Tony excitedly took the apple pie off the bag and hurried to get some plates for them. 

"Hey, put that apple pie down!" Hugh told his brother off. "It's not yours."

"But...but, I'm starving," Tony tried to flash his puppy dog eyes, but he failed miserably. 

“Then wait for Hillary. For all we know, she might want to return all of these to Clinton. I would.”

“Why would you do that?! This is free food!”

“I’d rather starve than accept favors from that ass,” Hugh said, slamming the table to emphasize his point. 

“Fine, fine,” Tony raised his hands in surrender. 

The brothers decided not to touch the grocery and simply waited for their pizza to arrive, which did so after a few minutes. They then happily munched over their food and soda in front of the living room TV. When Hillary arrived from school, she found her brothers enjoying the pizza that they ordered. 

“Oh, I thought you’d be arriving tomorrow,” Hillary greeted her brothers, dropping her bag and books on the couch. 

“We skipped going to Chris’s house. He’s a mess. He and his girlfriend are on a huge fight,” said Hughie, not taking his eyes off the TV.

“Well, he had it coming, to be honest,” she said as she stretched her arms, massaging her back after. “I’d better go out for grocery. I can’t feed you with pizza every day.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Tony quipped. 

“Why is that?”

“Someone brought you groceries,” Hughie replied, trying to remain as unaffected as possible. 

“Yeah?” Hillary yawned. “Who?”

“Bill Clinton,” Tony said quietly. 

Hillary froze. “What did you say?” 

“Bill Clinton,” Hughie repeated. “He sent someone to bring you these groceries.”

“What the fuck is that man thinking,” she muttered to herself as she marched towards the kitchen, where she found the numerous bags of groceries, each of which were almost bursting with food items. She closed in to one of the bags and started removing the contents, examining each piece she could get her hands on. 

“Jesus Christ,” Hillary tried to suppress her joy in the midst of her shock and confusion, as each bag contained every food she had ever liked. Hell, there were even three bottles of hot sauce, each one of different variety. There was even this barbecue sauce that she loved. “Oh my God, there’s even mocha cake!” she announced a little too excitedly. 

Hughie and Tony were trying really hard not to laugh from the living room. 

“Fuck, I don’t have money to pay for all of these!” Hillary shouted from the kitchen, horrified. 

“The bellboy from the hotel never said anything about you paying Clinton,” Hughie yelled.

“HE GOT A BELLBOY TO DELIVER THIS?!” Hillary screamed in disbelief. 

“Yep, sure did. Poor guy, though. Clinton better tip him generously,” Tony replied.   
Hillary took a deep breath as she tried to figure out what she would do with all those groceries. She really wanted to give the groceries back, but the food was very hard to resist. Besides, it would take a lot of effort on her part to get all the bags to the hotel, even with Hughie and Tony with her. In the end, she decided to accept the groceries, but she would have to do him a favor in exchange for his generosity, and tell him to stop giving her things. Anything. 

One by one, she unloaded the contents of each bag. As she sorted out the groceries, she resisted the urge to compute how much Bill had spent to buy these stuff for her. She would just feel more guilty and embarrassed if she knew how much all of those were worth. 

On the tenth bag, she noticed that a card was sticking out. She never noticed the card before. Curious, she took the card and unfolded it, revealing a small note written in Bill’s loopy scrawl:  
 ****

**_Hilly,_ **   
****

**_Please accept my gift to you. I opened your fridge when you were on the shower and I thought that you might want a little more food in there-_ **

“You fucker opened my fridge?!” Hillary yelled before she could stop herself. 

“Who opened your fridge?” Hughie shouted from the living room. 

“Nothing!” Hillary squeaked, but the boys didn’t believe her.   
****

**_I know it’s not my place to tell you this but I want you to take care of yourself. I only wanted you to be alright. Maybe the hard work you did for t_** ** _he past ten years has made you_** ** _forget about your well-being._**  
**_Anyway_** ** _, I hope you enjoy these treats. You deserve it. You deserve every nice thing in the universe._**  
 ****

**_Billy_ **

Hillary was almost trembling when she finished reading his letter, her tears threatening to pour. Damn. Why did he have to had an effect on her like that? Why? Why, after ten years, did she still feel strongly for him? After all, he abandoned her. Chose his career over her. And yet, she was still deeply and madly in love with him? 

Hillary felt like an idiot. A total and complete idiot. 

An idiot who never wavered on her promise to her lover.   

Hillary didn’t realize that she was clutching Bill’s card close to her heart, the same way she he held on to him all those years ago.   
“Hey, are you alright? You seem quiet all of a sudden,” Hughie entered the kitchen to check on his elder sister. 

“Sorry,” Hillary hurriedly wiped the tears off her eyes. “I was…I was just trying to unpack everything.”

"I really thought you would give back that stuff to Clinton,” Hughie said.

“Too much of a hassle if I would,” she said. “After all, these were given to me.”  

“Since when did you start accepting gifts from guys?” Hughie raised his eyebrow.

“Since today. Because it’s such a hassle to give them back,” she defended herself. 

“So if Clinton gives you a car, you’ll accept it?” he asked pointedly.

Hughie’s questioning was getting into her nerves. “Of course not. Why are you asking such things?”

“You aren’t seeing him, are you?” Hugh folded his arms in his chest and leaned against the doorway. 

“Nope,” Hillary denied flatly. Kissing someonen insideyour house didn’t constitute as “seeing someone”, right? 

“But you still have feelings for him, don’t you?”

“No,” Hillary gave her best poker face. “Why would I still have feelings for him? It’s been ten years!”

“Because you still love him,” Hughie glared at her. “You are still hoping that he’d come back for you.”

“Wow. You’ve been watching too much TV,” Hillary spat as she went to shelving the groceries. 

“Oh, I know you, Hillary,” Hugh said. “You still wear his sweatshirt when we’re not here.”

“How did you-?”

“I saw it in your laundry basket,” he answered her. “Who else would have a Georgetown sweatshirt? I don’t know, maybe someone whose boyfriend was from Georgetown?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” she clarified for him, though she wasn’t sure why she did that. 

Hughie shrugged. “Suit yourself. Listen, Tony and I will go out in a while. We’ll meet some friends. Wanna come?”

Hillary shook her head. “I can’t. I have to go to the library later.”

“Alright. Take care. Don’t leave the door open for us. We’ll be back late.”

“Sure.”

By the time Hillary had finished storing the groceries, Hughie and Tony were gone. She could not resist the temptation of opening her fridge and admiring it. Damn. When was the last time her fridge was full? It was two years ago, when she won the raffle at the office Christmas party. She won a Walmart gift check so she spent the entire thing in groceries. She considered seeing a full fridge a blessing, as it wasn’t every day that her pantry was full.

Hillary looked at her watch and was astounded to find out that it was already past 5pm. She really had to start studying. She ran upstairs for a quick shower and for a change of clothes. She dashed back down to the living room to grab her books and things. She was almost at the door when she realized that she had forgotten to call Bill.   
She hurried to grab the telephone and dialed the number of Bill’s hotel from the phone book. Within three rings, a soft, kind voice greeted her. 

“Good afternoon, you are calling the Excelsior Hotel. I am Lily, your assistant for today. How may I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Hillary Rodham,” Hillary panted, “I believe that you have a guest named William  Clinton?”

“One moment, Ma’am. Let me check.”

“Sure.”

Lily put the call on hold and Hillary was forced to listen to piano music. To be honest, she hated being put on hold. It felt like she was being told that she was too dumb to understand what they were doing, and so she was given music to listen to instead. Before Hillary’s temper rose to unmanageable levels, Lily came back to the line. 

“Hi Ms. Rodham. Yes, there is a William Jefferson Clinton staying in here. Would you like to leave a message?

“Ah yes,” Hillary was caught off guard. “Can you please tell him thank you for the stuff he sent to my house, but he should stop buying me things.”

“Oh, it was you!” Lily said in jest, astonished. 

Hillary blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I am so sorry, Ma’am,” Hillary could tell that Lily was blushing at the other end of the line, “it’s just that Mr. Clinton requested one of our bellboys to do grocery shopping for items which he strictly specified. Then he asked the bellboy to deliver it to your house. Didn’t you receive the items, Ma’am?”

“I did. That’s why I am calling to thank him. But I do not like being showered with material goods,” Hillary replied truthfully. 

“Oh!”

“What is it?” Hillary’s heart raced.   
Lily lowered her voice. “I don’t think Mr. Clinton will be pleased if I tell you this...”

“Go on, I won’t tell,” Hillary encouraged Lily. 

“Mr. Clinton ordered some of the food from our restaurant to be delivered to your house.”  
Oh God. “What did he order?”

“Some prime steaks, buttered vegetables, mashed potatoes and a bottle of our finest red wine.”

“Oh,” Hillary’s eyes widened. Bill was wasting too much money on her. “Uhm...can you..can you just take it? I’ll just sign a receiving form if needed. I don’t want the food.”

“But Ma’am, this is standard hotel policy...”

“I know,” Hillary assured Lily. “I will accept the food, but I want to give it to you. What do you say?” 

The other line went silent for a few seconds.

“Alright, Ma’am,” Lily conceded. “And thank for you the food, too. My kids will be happy to eat some delicious food.”

Hillary felt relieved and elated. “I am glad that I was able to put a smile on your kids’ faces. What about the wine?”

“I’ll be happy to drink it. I need it. Badly.”

Hillary giggled. “Enjoy the wine, then.”

“Thank you so much. Oh! Is there anything else you wish to say?”

“Uhm, can you tell Mr. Clinton that I’ll be in the library?” Hillary surprised herself. Why did she want to tell him where she would be? What the hell was she thinking? 

“Alright, Ma’am.”

Hillary tried to backtrack. “No, wait. Just tell that if he asks where I am. If not, do not volunteer the information. Are we clear?”

“Clear as day, Ms. Rodham.”

“Okay. Thank you so much, Lily,” Hillary breathed in relief. 

“Thank you too, Ms. Rodham. I’ll send a driver for your – ehem – delivery. We’ll find you at the public library, then?”

“Sure. I won’t leave until your driver arrives. Bye.”

“Thank you, Ma’am. Have a nice day!”  
Hillary put the phone down as relief rushed in

her veins. Whew. She almost dodged a bullet there. Well, no. Two bullets. One, she won’t have to receive Bill’s gift again. And second, she almost slipped her whereabouts to him. As if she wanted him to do something.

Like...to follow her. 

Did she? Did she really want him to follow her? 

Her brain and her lips said no, but a teeny tiny part of her heart screamed yes. That smallest, most intimate part of her wanted Bill to come over to the library, and probably walk her home. She wanted him to take care of her, to spoil her like he used to ten years ago. Despite the protestations of her brain, that illogical, irrational part of her heart somehow overruled her whole being and decided to let it slip that she would be in the library and only to tell him if he asked, just so she could salvage the remaining part of her that wasn’t ashamed for not having moved on from him for ten whole fucking years. 

Hillary shook her head, shoving Bill at the back of her head. She needed to get her head from the clouds and down to the hard solid ground where she belonged. She scolded herself for not learning her fundamental lesson about Bill Clinton: Stay away from him. Always. He was the bright light to her fascinated moth. He was attractive, captivating and addicting, but at the end of the day, she would be drawn and drawn to him and she would be burned by his scorching heat.

She decided to get some of her studies done and hurried to the library where she spent a couple of hours reading for an exam. During her stay, the driver from the hotel came and made her sign the acknowledgement receipt, though she and the driver both knew that the food Bill ordered for her was given to Lily. After all was said and done, Hillary bid the driver goodbye and returned to her stack of notes that was waiting to be read and reviewed.

It was half past ten when Hillary realized that she needed to head home. After all, her stomach was grumbling. She decided to grab a bite on the way home. Stretching her arms and legs after long hours of sitting, she dumped her books and notes into her bag and left the library.

In an impeccable timing, a harsh downpour fell over Hillary the moment she set foot outside the library.

* * *

Bill was exhausted when he returned to the hotel from his trip with Vernon. They drove all around the city and they had several drinks. It was then that Bill berated Vernon for hiring Hillary to drive him, and explained that she was the reason for all his secrecy. Vernon, to his astonishment, just found out about Bill and Hillary’s shared past. And in return, Vernon told Bill about his attempt to date Hillary.

“What did Hillary say?" Bill asked Vernon.

Vernon shrugged. “She said she wasn’t ready commit. She had work and law school. Something like that.”

Bill was secretly elated that Hillary turned down Vernon, but not without the latter’s notice.

“Hey, I saw that,” Vernon said, taking a swig of beer. “You are a bad buddy for taking pleasure at my misery.”

“What can I say, I got to her first,” Bill snickered.

“Yeah, I know. And apparently, you never left,” Vernon finished the rest of his beer in one gulp.

Bill felt the strings of his heart tug a little. “I hurt her so much, did I?”

“You did, man. You did,” Vernon patted his back little harder than usual. “But if I had to think about it, it isn’t entirely your fault, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it wasn’t your fault that her parents died,” Vernon said.

“But I should have come back when they did,” Bill reasoned.

“Did you know that they did? No,” Vernon shook his head. “She effectively dumped you when she refused to return your calls and letters after you told her that you would stay in Oxford.  You were no longer bound to her.”

“Yeah, but it was still my promise to always take care of her, and I failed to fulfill it,” Bill insisted.

“Well, circumstances change. She could no longer hold you to that promise the moment she shoved you out of her life. It’s a two-way streak, bro,” Vernon explained. “I know you might say that I am too harsh to her because I’m bitter. No. Far from it. Think of me as your independent observer. I am not in the relationship so I can see things of the box that you can’t. And right now, what I see is that you need to own to your past mistakes if you want a fresh start. Both of you. You might think it’s too late, but it’s not. Perhaps, now might be the perfect time for you to make amends. Who knows. Maybe you ‘ll get back to the point where you were ten years ago and emerge from all these as better persons.”

Vernon’s words were stuck in Bill’s mind for the rest of their trip, until he arrived in his hotel room. He was exhausted, but his brain remained in overdrive. His aching muscles could not deter his brain from thinking, pondering over what Vernon just said. For years, he had wondered what went wrong with him and Hillary. Had he been too selfish to stay in Oxford, especially now that he knew that he didn’t come home at the time when she needed him most?

For the first time, Bill realized that he had not been alone in bearing the blame. Hillary had been as responsible for their fallout as much as he had. It had been ten years late, but only their mutual apologies could start the healing and reconciliation that they both deserved.  
Bill, after much self-reflection, knew that he owed Hillary his apology, and he was willing to work for her forgiveness, or wait for an eternity if he had to. But then he also wondered: Would Hillary apologize to him too?

Whatever thoughts Bill had, they were immediately broken when his intercom rang. He scrambled to reach to his bedside table and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Good evening, Mr. Clinton. This is Lily from the frontdesk. I have a message for you from Ms. Hillary Rodham,”

Bill suddenly bolted up from the bed, his ear almost pressing the intercom.

“What did she say?” Bill asked eagerly, his heart pounding in anticipation.

"She extends her thanks for the items you have sent her, Mr. Clinton. Also, she wishes to tell you to stop sending her gifts,” Lily replied.

“Did she say why?” the eyebrows in his head furrowed.

“She just mentioned that she did not want to be showered in material goods, Sir.”

“Oh,” Bill did not know what of make of that.

“Uhm…did she say anything else? Did she, I don’t know, hint where she would be?”

“She did, Sir. She mentioned that she’ll be in the public library tonight.”

_Oh shit_. Any remnants of his exhaustion were gone. “Alright, thank you Lily.”

“My pleasure, Sir,”

Without another word, Bill grabbed his wallet from the bed and dashed out of this bedroom and out of the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Happened is draining my energy OMG.


	4. Chapter 4

Hillary walked through the pouring rain, her umbrella almost useless to protect her from the heavy downpour. Drenched and cold, Hillary looked for the nearest bus stop for her to wait on until the rain stopped.

Meanwhile, Bill had hailed a cab from the hotel to drive him to the public library. The rain poured as if there was no tomorrow. The waters drenched his cab when he was on his way to his destination. Bill prayed that Hillary was still in the library. In retrospect, he wasn’t sure why he scurried into the streets to look for her. After all, he had just saw her a few days ago, and there was no indication that she was in trouble. So, why the fuck was he looking for her in the middle of a cold, rainy night?

_Does the heart need a reason to want to see someone?_

_No._

As the car drove across the city, he noticed a familiar figure drenched and trembling underneath the covered waiting shed. Bill squinted, and he realized that it was the person he was looking for: Hillary, her arms hugging her books close her body. Her hair was wet from the rain, and so were her clothes.

Bill ordered the driver to park the car in front of the waiting shed where Hillary was. The driver obliged, and in no time, he was just a few feet away from her. 

He opened his window and slowly, the expression on Hillary’s face changed from that of helplessness to incredulity.

“Bill! What are you doing here?” her voice was indignant, very far from the frightened Hillary that he saw moments ago.

“I should be asking you the same question!” Bill almost screamed from inside the cab. “What the fuck are you doing in the middle of the pouring rain?!”

“I didn’t go out on purpose, you know,” Hillary stomped her foot. “I was walking back home when it started raining. Why the fuck would I come out in the rain?! I am not a kid anymore.”

_I am not a kid anymore_. Her words struck him in a way she never thought possible.

“Well, that can’t be helped,” he spoke louder so that she could hear him. “Come inside. I’ll take you home.”

“It’s alright. I’m okay. I’ll just wait for the rain to stop. Go back to the hotel, Bill. You need to rest,” Hillary assured him.

“I can’t just leave you in here! Come here now. You’ll be home in no time.”

“I told you, I’m fine,” Hillary insisted. She was testing his patience.

“Woman, you get inside the car or I’ll drag you!” he screamed from inside the cab, involuntarily slapping the car seat. His temper was slowly brewing, and at that moment, he didn’t fucking care if he was berating the woman he was supposed to be begging for forgiveness.

Hillary, secretly delighted that his Southern accent accidentally came back, pointed the end of her umbrella to his face like a sword, the tip almost touching his cheek. “You ass! Drag me and I’ll scream  _rapist_!”

“Oh no, you won’t!” Bill opened the cab door and pulled a thrashing and kicking Hillary towards the cab. Damn, for such a small woman like her, she was strong. Her petite body was a complete deception to her man-like strength. The veins on Bill’s arms were already protruding from the immense effort, and yet he still couldn’t move her an inch from where she was standing. She was resisting his pull quite well, even with the books that she was hugging.

“Let...me...go...you...bastard,” she grunted, each word was coupled with a pull against his grip.

“Why... are...you...resisting...me?” Bill doubled his effort. Hillary dropped her books and latched her hand on the nearest metal pole.

“Idontwanttogowithyou! Go home, Bill! Let me go!”

His cheeky, ungentlemanly self took over, and without warning, he released her, causing her head to hit the pole.

“Ow! You man whore!” Hillary’s temper flared as she nursed her head gingerly.

_Oh fuck_. Bill started to panic, the cold sweat in his forehead mixing with the raindrops. “I’m so sorry!” He quickly attended to her painful forehead.

“Get off me, you scumbag!” she forcefully swatted him away. Tears started to form on her eyes due to the immense pain. She sat on the floor and let the pain subside on its own. “Owowowowow,” she moaned in the middle of her tears.

“I am so sorry!” He knelt beside her and held her face tenderly. His horror-filled face wasn’t doing anything to ease her pain or to appease her anger.

“Go away, Bill. I don’t need you here,” she maintained her stubborn front.

“I can’t leave you with a terrible bump on your forehead,” Bill was legitimately frightened for her. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t need the doctor, Bill,” she moaned in pain. “I need to go home, and I can’t do that if you’re still here!”

“Hey, stop being such a stubborn ass and let me take you to the doctor!” she was getting on his nerves again.

Hillary, struggling to keep her focus, kicked Bill on the shins. “Do us both a fucking favor and go away.”

“Hilly, if I were a stranger and I hit you with a car, would you kick and scream if I drove you to the hospital?” Bill angrily reasoned.

“Yes! Because I fucking hate the hospital! And I’d sue your ass in an instant!” she screamed.

Oh boy. Bill forgot her aversion to doctors and hospitals. “Fine, let’s take you home, then. You need an ice pack right away.”

“Walk me to the nearest McDonalds. I’ll get an ice pack myself and go home,” she grumpily ordered, still nursing the bump on her forehead.

“You can’t walk all alone! You’ll wobble! And you don’t even want me to drive you home!”

“Mind your own business, fucker,” she fired.

“Oh, no. You’ll come with me. You’ll get into the cab and you have forfeited your right to complain!” Bill screamed.

Without warning, Bill scooped Hillary from the floor and carried her to the cab, her fists pounding against his chest. Despite the heavy hits from her. Bill wasn’t deterred.

When Bill finally laid Hillary inside, she still made a last ditch effort to escape, but he was able to catch her. “Why the fuck don’t you want a cab?!”

“I don’t want you wasting a single more cent on me,” she finally confessed, moaning as her head threatened to split into two.

_Jesus Christ. That’s it?! That was all her fuss was about?!_ She just drove him nuts, and he was *this* close to banging his head on the cab door.

Deciding that it was best to adhere to her wishes, Bill paid the driver (and gave him some extra tip) and then carried Hillary back to the shed, where they would wait for the rain to stop. He gently laid her on the floor, took off his jacket and covered her with it.

“Wait here,” he told her softly, the back of his hand caressing her forehead.

With the dizziness still consuming her, Hillary managed to let out a weak nod. “Okay,” Bill sprinted to the nearest McDonald’s to get a cup of ice.

As he ran farther and farther away, a small smile crept on her lips, her eyes fluttering from the queasiness.

“You still haven’t changed a bit,” she whispered to herself.

* * *

“Are you still okay?” Bill checked on Hillary, whom he was carrying in a piggyback.

He felt her nod weakly against her back, but her response was quickly contradicted by her miserable moan.

“Hilly, we have to get you home fast,” Bill panted. “And I can’t lift you and your things any longer. My legs are shaking.”

“Then…let…me…walk…I…can…do…this.”

“No,” Bill said flatly. “I’ll hail a cab and we’ll get you home.”

Hillary gripped his jacket tighter, signaling her refusal.

“You can pay me for the fare later,” he lied. “Now, will you let me hail a cab?”

To his relief, Bill felt her nod against his back. Struggling to balance her body and her bag, Bill managed to call a cab right away, much to his relief. He carried her inside and within minutes, they were in her house.

As the night grew deeper, Bill relished the feeling of taking care of Hillary. It felt...right. He felt that he was born for this – to love her and to care for her. If he had things his way, he wouldn’t leave her until she was all better. After all, it was his fault that she was hurt. But, he knew that she wouldn’t appreciate his presence in the morning. Before the sun had risen, he left her side and went back to his hotel.

But not without planting a soft kiss on her temple.

* * *

Relief flooded Hillary when she submitted her test paper to her professor who was sitting in front of the class. It was her last exam – ever – in law school. She could not help but feel nostalgic, but she certainly wouldn´t  miss the sleepless nights and the hellish weeks that she underwent so that she could have the law degree that she had been dreaming of for years.

“How did you find the test, Ms. Rodham?” Professor Amina Taylor asked her, beaming.

“It was alright, Ma’am. Nothing that wasn’t discussed in class or tackled in recitations,” Hillary replied with a great feeling of satisfaction.

“As I expected. You’re always at the top of the class, are you?”

Hillary tried to be modest. “I try, Ma’am. I’m on scholarship so I need to maintain my grades.”

“And you have done more than enough to do so,” Professor Taylor complimented her. “We professors have been watching our students’ progress, and I certainly have been paying attention to yours.”

Hillary felt embarrassed at the thought of professors skimming their grades. “I see.”

“Well, I have looked at your grades and I am very pleased with what I saw. You should be too.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

“Because of that, I want you to come over to my law firm,” said Professor Taylor.

“What for?”

“I want to talk to you about your future, and whether you can see your future with us. I have talked with my partners about hiring you as an intern and then as an associate when you pass the bar – the more, the better, of course.”

Hillary, at that moment, looked like a demented woman. “Are you serious?”

“Serious as a heart attack, Ms. Rodham. So, what do you say?” Professor Taylor smiled.

“I-I-I’d love to!” Hillary was almost hyperventilating.

“Alright,” Professor Taylor was so delighted that she clapped her hands. She opened her notebook and handed Hillary her calling card. “Here. Call me if you’re free so we can arrange your interview.”

“Oh my God,” Hillary’s hand was shaking when she accepted the calling card. “Thank you, Ma’am!”

“My pleasure. I’d really love to have you on our team. I hope you’ll consider us.”

“Of course, Ma’am! I’ll think it over,” Hillary said. “I’ll call for an appointment. See you soon, Professor!”

“Bye!”

Hillary left the classroom, elated like she had never been before. Wow. A job offer! She could not wait to tell her brothers about this. Perhaps, in a few years, she could save up for an overseas trip for her and her brothers. Or buy a car for Tony. After all, he wanted one for years. For the first time in years, she imagined herself to be successful, happy and accomplished.

It felt good to dream again.

As she walked towards the exit, occupied by her renewed dreams and aspirations, she didn’t notice that she bumped into their class representative, Carl Willmore, who hit her newly-healed forehead.

“Ow!” Hillary gasped!

“That hurt, Hillary,” Carl said, rubbing his ear.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you,” Hillary apologized.

“Well, that’s alright,” Carl said dismissively. “But since you’re here, I want to remind you about the class beach party. Saturday. Are you gonna come?”

“I am so sorry,” Hillary bit her lip, “I have work and I don’t get paid if I take a leave.”

“Oh,” Carl was visibly disappointed. “Anyway, I still hope you’ll come. The entire class will be there. Our last bash!”

“I know.” To be honest, Hillary had no urge to go to the party. “But I’ll try to see if I can go. Like you said, it’s our last bash together.”

“That’s right! Well then, see you soon!” Carl bid goodbye as he left for this next class.

“Bye Carl!”

By the time she stepped outside the building, Hillary had forgotten about the party.

* * *

She woke to the sun shining through her window, and frowned. Turning over in her bed, Hillary covered her head with the bright blue blanket and sank further down into her bed. Why was it she always woke up half an hour before her alarm went off? Why couldn't she just sleep in? Just fucking once?

Sighing, she shifted her gaze to the white ceiling above her head before closing her eyes. It turned out to be a bad idea as the memory of Bill kissing her downstairs when he brought her dinner came back to her. The way his hands felt against her soft skin, the way he tasted. Putting her hand up against her forehead, she felt like hitting herself.  _After all this time, after ten years of being alone… I still haven't forgotten him or his kisses,_ she thought to herself.  _I'm still in love with him, even after all this time._

"Hillary? You up?" a voice came from outside her door.

Sitting up in bed, she brushed back her brown hair with her hand and rubbed her eyes. "Yeah, I'm up. Come on in," she yawned.

Hughie poked his head on her door. “You got someone on the telephone.”

Hillary raised her eyebrow. “Who is it?”

Hughie merely shrugged his shoulders, as if to say he didn't know or wasn't going to tell her. She'd have to find out on her own. Hillary stomped all the way downstairs

"Hello?" Hillary greeted the caller. 

"Hello? Hilly?" the voice on the other end answered. 

"Bill?" She could hardly believe he was calling her, having last heard his voice on the telephone nine years ago. Her mind caught up with her body and Hillary remembered he was back in the US. "Yes. What is it?"

The line went dead for a moment. Then he spoke, and when he did Hillary felt her heart race. "Are you busy today?" 

_Am I busy?_ her mind automatically wondered. She did tell Carl she was "busy" so she could get off the beach party. Shaking her head, Hillary replied, "Not that I know of, but I do have some laundry to do. Why?" 

"Because I was wondering if you want to go to the beach with me today. It’s awfully nice out, and about 85 degrees. So what do you say? You up for some sand and surf?"

She had told a white lie to avoid attending the beach party. "Sure. Do you want to meet me there or what?"

"Actually, I was thinking about picking you up," he replied. "Say in about twenty minutes? I'm not that far from your house." 

Twenty minutes? "Uh, sure that would be great. See you in 20," she said. Then she pulled the phone from her ear, and stared at Hughie, who had witnessed the whole conversation. "Next time Bill calls, do not wake me up! God, Hughie! He wants to go out with me! On dates!" 

“That was actually a test for you," Hughie snickered, "but since you already failed, you might as well go all the way. Enjoy your time with Bill, Hillary. You need to get a life."

She just stared at him "Get a life? And how am I supposed to do that when I support your ass?" she yelled to the closed door. "Get a life. Yeah, right." she said more quietly. Her words echoed back at her. Sighing once more, she got upstairs to take a shower.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Hillary found herself standing in her room, looking down at her bed and the four bathing suits upon it. She was having a hard time trying to figure out which one she should take with her, or should she wear one under her clothes. Glancing at her bedside clock, she inhaled and nearly screamed. Damn it! she thought as she grabbed the first suit she touched and thrust it into her white beach bag. Grabbing a yellow towel, and her purse which went into her beach bag, she threw her door open and ran down the stairs. "Hughie, I'm going to be gone for a few hours," she called as she hurried to put her sandals on.

When she got down, her head was bent down, so she did not notice Bill, who was already sitting on the couch and was eagerly waiting for her arrival. He was wearing a white tank top, a pair of loose shorts and slippers. His hair was ruffled, a complete departure from his neat and crisp look. Truth to be told, Hillary was insanely attracted to this loose, carefree side of Bill. But of course, he didn't need to know that. 

Because that was what got her in trouble in the first place. 

"Oh, hey Hilly," he waved his hand demurely from his seat. 

"Oh Bill!" Hillary almost stumbled on the last step. "You're here! Who let you in?"

"Ah, your brothers," his thumb indicated that they were outside. "They said they'll be gone to play basketball."

"Oh," was the only thing she said. But deep inside, she felt betrayed by her brothers for leaving her alone with Bill without warning. 

"Shall we go? The beach is waiting," he stood up and pointed at the door. 

"Alright."

Heading out to the door, Hillary watched Bill as he walked smugly towards what seemed to be his car. She giggled. Oh how she missed this smug goofy Bill that never failed to come out at every one of their dates. Ten years, and he never managed to erase that side of him.

"Hillary, are you coming?" Bill called from the doorway. Hillary's head snapped over to the right, staring at him. Finally understanding what he was asking her, she nodded her head and walked towards him, closing the door behind her.

* * *

They headed out towards the beach he'd picked out and she sat silently in her seat, watching as the road went by in the blur. She didn't really have to speak, anyways. Bill talked the whole way, about everything and anything. From his studies in Oxford, his internship at the US embassy, to his very first diplomatic mission for the US. As she listened, there was a thought that kept nagging her: if ever she was to get back into his life, where would she fit? His life was so packed with excitement and adventure, and she wasn't sure that Bill had room to fit for a young woman fresh out of law school who had yet to accomplish anything at her age. 

But despite his myriad of interesting and exciting stories, Hillary never heard Bill talk about going out with other women. She mused that he probably had. He was just too polite to tell her that. 

Deep inside, she was dying to know. Why? Because she waited. She had patiently waited. She had turned down every man that had expressed their interest to be a part of her life. She told them that work and studies were her priorities, but she knew that was a flat out lie. In truth, she was waiting for him to come home. She had always felt that it was him, her first and her last. 

"I'm talking too much about myself now," Bill grinned as he wheeled the car to the left. "Enough about me. What about you? What kept you busy?"

"Oh, work and school," Hillary shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing too exciting". 

"Wasn't speaking at your commencement exercises exciting?" 

"H-how do you...?" Hillary jumped from her seat.

"I saw a copy of Life Magazine with you in it at a local bookstore," Bill blushed as he confessed his long-held secret. "I...I bought a copy and kept it in my room."

"Oh," Hillary didn't know what to make of it. She was secretly glad that she was still important enough for him to follow her accomplishments, but still, the nagging question remained whether there was still room for her left in his life. 

Their conversation abruptly ended with her silence. From then until they reached the beach, they were enveloped with an awkwardness that resembled that of two teenagers waiting for each other to ask the other out to the prom. 

When they arrived at the beach, they encountered the parking lot full, thanks to Hillary's class beach party. For twenty fucking minutes, they spent the entire time going around the parking lot looking for an open space and waiting for someone to leave.

"Fuck, I had no idea there would be lots of people here today," Bill swore. 

Hillary stopped the urge to smack herself. "Urgh. I had almost forgotten. It's our class's beach party today."

"How could you forget?" Bill raised an eyebrow while his eyes were scanning for an open slot. 

"I wasn't planning on going," Hillary turned her head backwards to assist him in the search. 

"Shit, we can't find an open slot. Maybe this beach  isn't a good idea after all," said Bill apologetically, while scanning the place for an open slot. 

"No, this is a good idea," Hillary involuntarily rested her hand on his knee, which returned the beet red color to his face. Her eyes spotted an empty space at the end of the row they were in. "There! That one at the end!" She excitedly pointed her finger. 

Bill looked away from her to hide the smile that he couldn't stop making. 

_God, she's happy to be with me._

* * *

They stayed until well after the sun had set into the ocean and the stars came out to adorn the night sky. During the day, Hillary was insistent that they not show themselves to her classmates (because that would be fucking awkward) so they remained in the less populous part of the beach, sitting, reading and just relaxing. Bill even had the playful urge to build a sand castle. He invited her to make the structure with him. At first, she wasn't interested, but she did love to watch him build. But later on, she became envious of the fun that he was having so she joined him in making the castle. It did get a lot more fun once she was into it as they kept interrupting each other and destroying the part that each other had built when the other one wasn't looking. Finally, they did manage to build Bill's sand castle, and it stood beautifully against the sunset. They both just wished that they had brought their polaroids to capture their accomplishment. 

Sitting on the blanket, they didn't speak as the moon had replaced the sun in the sky. Most of the people were gone, and they had the beach to themselves. Hillary, watching as the waves crashed upon the shore, dug her toes into the sand. Her thoughts were nothing but questions with no answers. She thought about her parents, wondered if they were watching her now? Watching as she sat on the beach with Bill, next to her, yet seemingly a million miles away. 

"Did you ever think about me, Hilly?" he lifted his gaze from her toes to her face. She didn't look at him. "Did you miss me?"

She didn't say anything at first. She just kept staring at the oceans, admiring the waves that serenely pushed and pulled against the sand. When she did speak, he had to strain to hear her. 

"I missed you so much that it fucking hurts," she confessed. "There was never a day that had gone by that I didn't think of you. Every night before I went to bed, I always wondered how your day had been or had you been thinking of me. Although I was the one who ended things between us, I was the one who suffered more by the separation." It took every ounce of her will not to lean on his shoulder and cry against his chest. 

"I know this is cliché, but I had been thinking of you every day too," he replied, his heart tugging at her confession. "There was never a day that I didn't ask myself if I had accomplished enough to make you proud. That when the day for me to come back finally came, you would look at me and say: Our sacrifices were worth it. We are worth it. Despite having lost touch with you for the past ten years, I still felt bound by my promise to you. It...it felt wrong for me to abandon that promise, even when things ended between us. So, every day, I worked hard so that I could come back and reach that goal."

Hillary involuntarily twisted her left ring finger with her thumb and index. "I know you had a bargain with my parents. I knew that you left because they wanted you to prove to them that you could provide for me before they gave their permission for us to marry."

Bill's response was silence.

"Well, they are dead," she said, "and I no longer hold you to that bargain."

Bill shifted his gaze when she was speaking, and now he was staring at her openly. "I am so sorry for hurting you, Hilly. I did plan on coming back to patch things up with you after we broke up, but I was a coward for not returning."

Hillary shook her head. "You didn't do anything wrong. You did what is necessary for you. It only took me a while to figure it out. I'm sorry for pulling you down, for hating you for something that you ought to do. If only I had been more forthcoming. I should have rooted for you every step of the way. But instead, I was this selfish brat who whined how her boyfriend left her for his career and didn't have the same opportunities that he had."

"But you had every right-"

"No," she interrupted him. "When you see an opportunity, you grab it. If there was anything that I have learned from this ordeal, is that life is short, and we don't know what tomorrow holds for. Who knows, maybe we'll be dead tomorrow."

"Just like in love. When you see it, you grab and you don't let it go," she finished. 

Bill's gaze shifted to the ocean, trying to control the waves of emotion that surged through him. "Why didn't you tell me to come back when I told you that I would be staying?" Little did she know that he would have returned the second she begged for him to come back from Oxford when he announced to her that he would be staying. He never heard from her, so he didn't. 

"I know you would come back the moment I said so," she replied, seeing right though him. "But I did not want you looking at yourself ten, twenty years down the line and regretting everything you could have been. You have so much potential, Bill. I still believe that you can fulfill our dream, even though I am no longer in it."

There was a myriad of emotions that Bill sensed from her when she said that last sentence: sadness, hurt, disappointment, regret. Finally, he had the courage to shift his body towards her and cup her face tenderly, like he used to do ten years ago. 

"No, Hillary. No one gets to fulfill our dream without the other. We promised each other that. Even though we are not lovers anymore, I still believe it's not too late to pick up where we left off. You have a whole life ahead of you. Don't confine yourself. Now is the time to spread your wings and take that first flight. The journey might be hard, but I know you. You can take every punch and bruise and come out stronger. The past ten years were a proof of that. And I know that one day, you'll be flying so far in the clouds that the only thing you'll see is the sun."

Hillary never broke her intense gaze to him, overwhelmed by his confidence in her. 

"Come with me, Hillary. Let's go to DC, as we had planned before. We don't have to be lovers. We can rebuild our lives as friends. As you've said, when you see an opportunity, grab it. And right now is the perfect time for it. With your studies finally over, we can finally start working on our dreams. We're ten years late, Hillary. We have a lot of catching up to do."

Hillary's eyes were regretful. "I love how the fire inside you never wavered. It kept burning for years, and now it is burning stronger than ever. But circumstances change, Bill. After my parents' death, the responsibility of caring for my family rested on my shoulders. I could not abandon my brothers. I have to keep my family together. As much as I want to go with you, there are many things in life that are more important than personal dreams, like family."

_If family is so important to you, why don't you want to start one with me?_ Bill thought bitterly. 

"I am sorry for not being the girl you want me to be," she broke through his thoughts as if she read his mind. "For the first time, I can finally admit to myself that I have loved you these past ten years, perhaps even more so now. But right now, I am not sure that I am the right girl for you to spend the rest of your life with. But nevertheless, I still hold our memories dearly in my heart. And loving you? It was, and still remains, the best decision I have ever made."

Bill didn't know what to say. He just sat there in the sand, and stared at her. He couldn't believe how strong and brave she'd become, to be able to hold it all together and hold on to everything that had mattered to her in the time of crisis. And she'd done it all without him beside her. Bill was shocked to know this was the same Hillary Rodham he'd left ten years earlier. He reached over and down, putting his hand over hers, their fingers lacing together to touch the sand below. He smiled when she looked up at him. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Hillary. I wish I'd known, been able to help in some way," he said, her eyes still on him. "However, to have known the girl I left ten years ago has grown up into a beautiful young woman; I wouldn't change a thing."

* * *

Later that night, as they stood on Hillary's doorstep, she put her key into the lock and hesitated. Not turningaround to look at him, her eyes staring at the keyhole, she sighed "Thank you for the outing today," she said. "And for the talk."

She didn’t hear him say anything. He didn’t have to. His presence and understanding was enough.

But when she turned around to face him, the fire in his eyes was unmistakable. She was drawn to his eyes that were oh so blue, like the waters of the cleanest oceans. _God, he's handsome. When did he get so handsome?_ her mind questioned as she stared into his eyes _._ Reaching up, she took his face into her hands, her small fingers caressing his cheeks.

He was surprised by her boldness, but he did nothing to stop her. This was the first time she ever touched him without him touching her first. He watched as hands danced across his skin, as she neared him and before he knew it, her soft lips touched his.

Mouths brushed, retreated, brushed again. It was she who moaned, she who crushed her lips to his on a hot spurt of hunger. She hadn't let herself want. She refused to let herself want, fearing that she would be hurt if she didn’t get it. Until now.

She wanted him. She wanted all of him. His strength, his warmth, his tenderness.

His hardness.

As she pulled him tighter into her body, she was surprised by the hardness that had already formed beneath his shorts, and it pushed her mind into an overdrive. What the hell was what? Was he an overexcited teenager unable to control himself over the first touch of a woman?

But, despite her confusion, she had wanted him just as bad. Hot, tight and wet.

_There’s nothing in t_ _he world that she wanted m_ _ore than him. All of him._

But fate has a weird sense of humor. Bill, the one who was more desperate of the two, broke the kiss.

"Hilly." He was breathless, churning towards desperate.

Hillary wasn’t mad or frustrated when he broke the kiss. She was smiling at him. Her eyes were dark, filled with trust and pleasure.

"Hilly," he said again, and lowered his forehead to hers. “You better go inside. Your brothers might be looking for you.”      

"Yes. I'll see you later." She was floating on air as she spun around and headed for the door, leaving him bursting with happiness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter in the entire story, because they finally let the truth out. The beach scene is <3.
> 
> Some of you might ask: THIS IS RATED M. WHERE IS THE SMUT? Well, I can tell you that it's gonna be real soon :P


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey! Watch it! I don't have money to pay for those!

Hillary angrily screamed at the caterers as they almost knocked the large vase inside Bill’s apartment for his surprise birthday-slash-coming home party. She had been planning this party ever since Vernon forced her to weeks ago ("Why me?"), and her stress levels could not have been higher. She had to contact Bill's friends from Georgetown and Arkansas and convince them to fly all the way to Illinois. On top of it, she was fielded with ridiculous questions from his friends, asking if she was his girlfriend, to which she flatly denied.

Vernon, the mastermind to all of this, wasn't much of a help either. He even convinced her to serve her recipe peach pie, which was Bill's favorite. It only further stressed her because she had to relearn how to make one, as she hadn't done so in years. So for weeks, she had to practice making peach pies until she managed to perfect it three days ago. Praying that nothing would go wrong, she was up all night yesterday baking batches and batches of peach pies, like a woman possessed. By 2 am, she had finally finished baking and immediately went off to bed, only to be woken by her alarm clock at 6.

The lack of sleep only made her irritable during the day. The incompetent caterers didn't help either. They got her order mixed up with another party and she had to yell at them on the phone for fucking up so bad. The good news was that the caterers managed to deliver her order on time, and they were helping her set up the party. She could only pray that there were no more fuck-ups leading up to Bill's arrival.

It had been three weeks since the day at the beach and so much had happened. Bill had stopped by the next day, asking if she wanted to help him look for an apartment. He told her that staying at the hotel was becoming too costly for him, and he missed cooking his own food. Hillary took it as a sign that he was finally putting down his roots, and she was secretly hopeful. But nonetheless, she maintained a stoic front.

He'd picked her up that night after she'd gotten off work, and they looked at least ten different apartments before he found one he actually liked. It had three bedrooms and two bathrooms with a large living room area and kitchen, a dining room flowed off from the kitchen and behind that was a large balcony overlooking Chicago. He signed the lease right then and there, handing the woman a check with the entire amount of what the apartment was being sold for. Hillary had just stared at him, her eyes wide. Watching the woman who was selling the condo dance out of the apartment, she turned to Bill and asked what he needed two extra bedrooms for?

Bill just looked at her, smiled and walked over to the balcony doors. He never did answer her question.

Hillary had believed that would be the last time she'd see him, but she was wrong. Every single night afterwards, Bill would be at her house. On some nights they would go out for the evening, sometimes they would stay in and just do nothing but be in each other's company. It was like the man was courting her or something. Nevertheless, the nights would all end the same. She would see him to the door (or he would walk her to the door), ask if she would go out with him, and as soon as she would say no, he would bend down and kiss the daylights out of her.

It was until two days ago that something weird had happened between them. They went out, as usual, and Bill was driving her home. They were already exhausted after playing a lot of games at the arcade, so the drive home was silent. But somehow, a question popped inside Hillary's head and she simply fired it to him.

"What are you doing at daytime, by the way?" she asked. "Have you found a job already?"

Bill gripped the wheel harder. "I am currently looking for one. Been doing meetings with people all over."

"Is that all?" Hillary seemed to be probing for...something. "Like...who are you meeting with?"

"Lawyers, deans, congressional staff, White House aides. The like," he replied. His short responses suggested that he was not in a mood for a conversation.

She had almost choked. White House aides? Holy cow. Bill was a true hot shot! She was so stunned that she had almost forgotten what she was about to ask.

"Wow, White House aides," Hillary gasped.

Normally, Bill would have relished her reaction. But he was just plain tired. "Yep."

"Fucking wow. I'm so jealous," she said.

Despite his exhaustion, Bill quickly saw an opening to convince her to follow their lifelong dream. "They have an opening for two," he said. And that was the truth. In all his meetings with potential employers, he always brought up Hillary. Little did she know that he had acquired her grades from his friend who was a faculty member at the University of Chicago. Her transcript, along with her interview in Life Magazine, proved to be attractive to employers. In fact, she usually ended up being the more desirable prospect between the two of them. Despite all of that, he kept his job hunt for her a secret.

"What do you mean?" Hillary pretended not to understand what he meant.

Bill sighed. Did she have to play dumb?

"It means that the White House is interested in hiring you as well," Bill spelled it out for her.

Hillary laughed. "Yeah right. And I am Miss Universe."

Bill was irritated by her deliberate dismissal, though he tried hard not to show it to her. "Well, if you want, we can fly to DC next week for your interview."

Hillary snorted harder. "God, Bill. I didn't know you were such a comedian."

"You think I'm kidding?" Bill's voice was borderline threatening.

"No, that's not what I meant-" Hilary sensed his anger.

"When we were planning our dream years ago, did you assume that I was kidding?"

"No, of course not-"

"And when I told you that I love you, you thought that it was a joke?"

"What are you talking about? Of course, no!"

"Then fucking stop dismissing my thoughts as some form of humor if it doesn't conform with your wants," he said as the car came to a halt, trying not to explode in front of her. Staring straight ahead, Bill didn't get out to open her door like he normally would. He just sat there, waiting. Hillary opened the door herself, said her good night to Bill, and stared at him for another moment.

"Good night, Hillary," Bill said harshly before he put the car into gear.

Sensing he was about to take off, she nodded her head and closed the door to the car. The moment it was closed, he took off. She stood there on the side of the road, watching until she couldn't see the taillights of his car anymore before shaking her head and turning to go inside.

Hillary wanted nothing more than to bang her head on the wall for trying to push him away. Again.

She hadn't seen him since.

Now, two days later, she was planning his coming home party, never mind the fact that he had been back for quite a while now. Hillary stopped unloading the bag on the counter and stared at Vernon, who just sat there with his head on the counter. "Are you planning on doing anything besides what you're doing now?" she asked her friend.

Vernon looked at her. "I think I've done enough already, don't you?" he asked. "I didn't see you offering any of your services when I was loaded down with bags of crap for this party. Whose idea was this again?"

Unloading yet another bag, Hillary sighed. The headache from her lack of sleep was getting worse, even with the pills she had taken three hours ago. "Yours, if memory serves correct," she replied. "Now, help me unload these bags so we can get this stuff put away before they get back."

"Alright, alright, Bossypants." Walking over to where the bags were sitting on the floor, Vernon began to sort through them, looking for something. What, Hillary didn't know. She just watched as her friend started to put the food away.

* * *

Somewhere in the streets of Chicago, Bill met up with Amanda Suarez, a White House East Wing staff. She was the personal secretary of the First Lady. Amanda was in town, and Bill had arranged for a meeting with her.

"Clinton," Amanda shook Bill's hand. "Where's this bright young lawyer you're talking about?"

"Well, she isn't a lawyer yet. She just finished law school a few weeks ago," Bill chuckled. "But yes, she's bright and caring and amazing and..."

Amanda smiled. "Seems you have a lot of positive things to say about her."

"I do, I do. But I think my words cannot do her justice."

Amanda raised her eyebrows, intrigued. "You piqued my interest. So, where is she right now?"

"She's busy preparing a party for me."

Amanda was confused. "Wait, what?"

"I'm sorry. My friend contracted her into planning a 'surprise' birthday party for me," Bill's fingers drew quotations marks in the air, "and I think she's fucking insane right now."

Amanda laughed. "This isn't probably the best time to meet her."

"No, it's fine. I can calm her down," Bill assured her.

"You seem to be very close to this woman. Girlfriend?" Amanda asked in jest.

"There's no word for her, to be honest," Bill bit his lip, looking at the cement ground, "but if I had to choose one, I'd say she's 'perfect'."

* * *

Hillary stood in the middle of the apartment, balloons of gold covering her white high heels. Brushing back a strand of her chestnut hair from her face, she looked around and sighed. Everything was coming into place. The food was cooked and sat on the tables. The apartment was decorated in bright colors, mostly white and gold, from the floor to the ceiling, while in the center a huge banner hung from the ceiling, the words  **Happy Birthday, Bill**! written across it.

Hillary felt proud of herself.  _And if you were to think about it, you're almost dating the guy_ , her mind screamed at her. "Yeah," she said out loud. In just under an hour, the room she was standing in would be crowded with people, half of them she wouldn't even know.

Sighing, she closed her eyes for a moment and just breathed. While her mind refused to let her believe she was in love with the guy, her heart had a completely different opinion.  _He was the person who teased you, who told you he loved you then left you for ten years_ \- that was her mind's argument. However, her heart had a pretty good defense, reminding her that while he did in fact leave her, he always thought about her, always wondered about her, and he did come back.  _That has to count for something, right?_

Hillary shook her head, her curls waving distinctly. The white dress she wore was simple, not too revealing, and was just past her knees. Her dress exposed her arms, and it hugged her body just right, just so her small waist and wide hips could not be missed.

“Hey, Hillary!” Vernon called her from behind, carrying a large bag of ice cubes. Turning around, she hurried to help him with his load, but Vernon waved his hand.

"No, I got this. You don't wanna ruin your dress," Vernon grunted as he carried the bag to the kitchen.

"Oh, okay," Hillary said.

"Go rest up a bit, Hillary. The guests will arrive any minute. Besides you seemed to have everything under control, and may I say this place looks great," Vernon said, as he looked around the apartment.

"Say, who's gonna fetch Bill?" Hillary asked, suddenly realizing that she hadn't assigned someone to get him.

"Oh, he's on his way," Vernon assured her.

Speaking of the devil, Hillary and Vernon heard the door open. Bill stepped through it, and behind him was a woman Hillary had never seen before. She's young, and very attractive too. Someone Hillary knew Bill could fall for.

Hillary couldn't do anything, having frozen to the spot in which she stood. She couldn't even bring herself to speak. She just stood there watching the smiling couple. It was when Bill began to speak that she came out of her trance.

"Hilly?" Bill pretended to be surprised at her presence and at the decorations that were hanging inside his apartment. "This is-"

However, he suddenly stopped when his girl, the one wearing the pristine white dress, was almost in tears.

"How could you...I don't understand...what do you want from me, Bill?" Hillary cried out.

"Hilly?" Bill's eyes darted from Hillary to the woman next to him. It was only then when he understood what was going on.  _She's...jealous?_

"Hilly, let me explain..." he approached her, trying to explain the entire situation.

"Fuck off, Clinton," she swooped past him, past Amanda and out of the apartment. "Leave me alone. Besides, you had no problem doing that for ten fucking years!"

Bill tried to catch her. "No, I won't. I promised you I won't do that ever again. Do you understand me? I will never leave you again! Because I love you!"

His words triggered the emotions she tried to keep at bay.

"Liar!" She headed for the doors, brown curls behind her as she ran past Bill's guests, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey Bill!" The cheery crowd greeted Bill, and he could not follow her. All he could to was to helplessly watch her run away from him, the very thing he was most afraid of.

* * *

Hillary ran.

Against the protestations of her feet, she ran and ran away from Bill's apartment and towards her home. Her tears, flying everywhere, drenched her perfectly white dress.

How could I have been so stupid? He never loved me. Otherwise he never would have left me alone, her rational self scolded her. She shook her head, the tears falling down her face mixing with the drops of rain that had begun to fall from the sky.

_Perhaps this is my punishment for loving him too much_ , she thought.

* * *

If this was supposed to be a birthday party, it certainly didn't feel like one to Bill. All night, he sat in one corner of his apartment, brooding and thinking about the girl that ran away. If he wasn't sulking, he was pacing back and forth with an empty cup in his hand, unable to have a good time. He kept putting his hand on his pocket, opening and closing a black velvet box. What he hoped to be a joyous night for both of them ended in heartbreak. He knew she loved him, as evidenced by her kisses. Her looks. Her touches. But he had yet to hear the words from her.

About two hours before the party ended, Bill abruptly left.

* * *

Bill stood outside Hillary house, watching the light on the second floor bedroom disappear into the darkness. He had watched her silhouette as she dressed into her nightgown, ready to go to bed. He fought the excruciating urge to come forward and talk to her, but he knew she wasn't in the right state to hear him. She needed her space, and he must give it to her.

Sighing deeply, Bill began to climb the tree that stood next to her window. Once he was at the right height, he sat down on the ledge and waited.

He leaned to see Hillary inside, and he found her laying on her bed, her hair covering her face as she slept. He could see the trail of tears on her cheeks, and knew she had cried herself to sleep. His heart fell. Glancing around, he looked at all the stuffed animals that lay about, at all the pictures that either hung on her walls or sat on different pieces of furniture, and at the little table that sat in the middle of the room. He started towards it, but it was his name that made him stop and look at her. His eyes wide, he waited a heartbeat and held his breath.

"Billy," she whispered in her sleep. "Don't go....don't leave me...I don't want to be alone anymore..." More tears fell down as she cried in her sleep.

_I don't want to be alone either._

Slowly climbing to her window and inside her room, Bill reached deep into his pocket and pulled the black velvet box. As he looked at the box, he contemplated how things might have ended differently that night. If he had the courage to follow her, he could have told her that Amanda wasn’t romantically connected with him, and in fact, he had brought her to convince her to move to DC and work at the White House. If he had only followed her, he would have been the happiest person in the world right now, about to be married to the most wonderful girl ever to walk the face of the planet.

But no. He was too timid. He was too coward. And so, he was there, standing in her bedroom, watching her cry to sleep.

And it killed him to know that he was the reason why she was broken, why she was suffering that way.

_Maybe I am not the right man for you._

Bill decided to out the velvet box back to his pocket and leave. He had already made it to the window before he heard her speak his name again.

“Billy.”

Glancing back at her, Bill couldn't stop the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes anymore. He found her awake and already up. She too was filled with tears, both tears that had already dried and tears that had freshly sprung from her beautiful eyes.

“Are you going to leave me again?” she challenged him, her laced with desperation and hurt.

_Of course not_ , he thought to himself as his feet slowly carried him to her. He sat on the edge of the bed nearest to her. Like a possessed man, he urgently cupped her face, while she desperately clung to his hands. As if their minds had spoken to each other, they both dived into one another, fusing their mouths in a long, languid kiss.

Hillary brought her arms up to wrap them around his neck, pulling him close to her. Bill followed, his body alive with passion and desire for the goddess that he held in his arms. He began to run his hands up and down her body. She moaned into the kiss, her body responding to his caresses. She felt his hands roam over her nightgown, seeking a way inside. Her body tensed at his touch, but in a way that was pleasurable to her. Raising her silky nightgown, she gave him better access to her thighs before the gown was pushed up and over her head.

His eyes feasted on her body in its full glory. Her soft curves. Her erotic, pale skin. Her beautiful lines.

He wanted to look. He wanted to touch.

But most of all, he wanted to take.

When Hillary pulled the nightgown out of her arms, Bill caught the silky fabric and threw it across the living room, landing on some random spot. His attention was caught by the pair of nipples that were standing proudly in her breasts, begging him to worship them. Unable to resist any longer, he lowered his mouth to her breast.

Hillary fisted his hair as she pulled him into her. _Oh God._ He had a fantastic mouth, an amazing mouth. She arched her back so that his mouth would be free to explore every inch of her chest. Hillary could feel her heart beat faster. As Bill consumed her, he pressed her down on the bed so that her back was against the mattress.

Hillary was in absolute bliss. His tongue expertly played with her sensitive breasts, and it only tested her already dimming patience. She waited ten years for this to happen again. Oh how many countless wet dreams of this scene had teased her over the years, only to end up in frustration whenever she woke up and realized that she was alone. The low fires that were already simmering in her belly only grew with each suck and lick. When his mouth and hands worked together to please the woman who deserved them, the end result was truly magical and indescribable. And Hillary only wanted more.

Her hips came to life on its own, bucking lazily under him. Bill was still concentrating on her breasts but her hips were already moving, as if they were anticipating something. Smiling against her chest, Bill planted the lightest kiss on her nipple and decided to indulge her begging hips.

Hillary guided Bill in the path of her body towards where the real indulgence occurred. The softest kisses marked the trail, and the teasing felt too excruciating for her. Nevertheless, she enjoyed the agony. She bit her lip as he lurked dangerously close to her center, to her most sensitive bud.

Oh God. She was ripe and she was his for taking. The heat and wetness that emanated from inside her was like a drug that he couldn´t get enough of. Coupled with her breathless moans and the erotic litany of his name, Bill felt himself stiffen further. He never wanted something as bad as he wanted her at that moment. He wanted so many things, and all of those things involved her. He wanted to feel her tremble, to see her writhe. To hear her scream. He wanted her to erupt so hard that she would forget that he had ever hurt her.

_Oh how I_ _wish._

With a triumphant lick on her wet, waiting lips, she came, quaking under him. She came harder than she ever did in her wet dreams. Even than during their very first time together, a meaningful encounter that both of them secretly cherished even after his departure from England. Even when they were hurt, they still couldn’t manage to bury the memory of the very first time they made love, ten years ago.

Now, they were both ready. There were both ready to consummate their newly rekindled love, the love that they were still denying despite the ton of evidence to the contrary.

“I need you,” Hillary whimpered. Their eyes reconnected, the faint blue against the bright blue, and that was all Bill needed.

Hillary gently grabbed his member and guided him towards her entrance, teasing herself with the tip of his manhood. She moaned at the slightest touch of it. Although she had already come, she wasn’t satisfied. If anything, her eruption only increased her hunger.

Bill slowly pushed himself inside her, and she welcomed him with caution. After all, it had been ten years. But he was gentle. He was kind. He wanted her to experience the same bliss that he was experiencing. He was a patient lover. He waited for her to adjust to his size before forcefully ramming himself into her, like a bull angrily chasing after the red cloth of the matador.

Hillary loved his roughness as much as his gentleness. She loved all of him. She yielded when he shoved her legs back to go deeper, and her nails bit into his hips like spurs to urge him on. Oh fuck. The low flicker in her belly threatened to explode into a fully-fledged fire. Her muscles were already tensing up, signaling the end of this excruciating yet pleasurable journey. Bill felt it too, as he doubled the pace, eager to bring them both to the finish line.

In between frantic, urgent thrust, she erupted under him. And within seconds, she dragged him with her into the fire. The two of them stilled, like time itself. The culmination of a dance of passion, of a push and pull, of death and rebirth, happened on that silent, starry night, ten years after they had first consummated their relationship, when they were still young and madly in love. Now, they were more mature, and the feelings were only stronger, forged by the heartbreak and their separation.

At that moment, Hillary finally said the words that Bill hadn’t heard for a decade.

“I love you, Billy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, smut! Yay! I hope you guys weren't too impatient for smut to happen. It would be cruel to them, especially to Hillary, if I let them have sex before they cleared the air first. 
> 
> And we're past the halfway mark! Just 4 chapters to go!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this, I realized that we haven't had a peek into their past. We all know Hillary was miserable when he left, but how miserable was she? I hoped that I could shed more light on their past and why she was devastated when he told her he would leave.

Hillary woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside and an empty bed. She blinked and stretched her arms, as she usually did every morning. The memory of Bill making love to her last night, over and over again, run through her head. She had thought that maybe the whole thing had just been a dream, a long erotic dream, but the ache in her legs and her naked body wrapped in her blanket told her that it wasn’t. It was real. She and Bill made love during the night. But where was he now?

She got up, and she found her robe hanging on her closet. She noticed that her discarded nightgown was neatly folded on the edge of the bed. A smile crept up on her lips.

_Bill never changed._

She went down the stairs, and the delicious smell of pancakes and coffee grew stronger and stronger with each step. She could hear the faint sounds of oil sizzling on a frying pan. She took a deep breath, enjoying the good morning vibes. _Aaaaaaah_. It had been nine years since someone had cooked her breakfast.

Hillary caught Bill flipping a pancake in front of the stove. He was wearing his shirt from last night, and a towel covered his lower body. Hillary giggled at how ridiculous his appearance was. If she could, she would have removed the shirt altogether.

Or the towel.

Hillary tiptoed towards her lover, and in a swoop, she hugged him from behind, resting her head on his expansive back.

“Someone’s clingy,” noted Bill as he flipped a pancake.

“Maybe,” she teased.

“I hope you let go soon, because I need to walk towards the shelf,” he chuckled.

“No, can do. Walk if you need to.”

And indeed, he walked. Hillary followed him, still clinging on his back, and he reached for the cinnamon in the spice cabinet. He walked back to the stove, and she followed similarly. She was like a barnacle of a whale’s back.

“God, you are hard to dispose,” Bill quipped.

“Dispose? You’re saying I am trash?” she raised her eyebrow, following his joke.

Bill turned around, still locked in her arms, and ran his finger on her neck, all the way to her chin. “Of course not, Baby. You’re the most precious jewel there is.”

Hillary smiled. “God, Billy. I missed your charm. You set a very high standard, Bill. That’s why I never found another man after you.”

“I am flattered, Baby,” he smiled, biting his lip. “Likewise, I was so afraid that no one could not match your abilities in bed. That’s why I never went out with anyone.”

“Really?” she let out a wicked smile. “Is that so?”

“Scout’s honor,” Bill raised his arm as if taking an oath.

Without warning, Hillary knelt in front of Bill and forcefully pulled the towel that covered his legs. Bill instinctively covered himself, albeit half-heartedly, but Hillary swatted his hand away.

_He’s unprepared. No matter. I’ll take care of that_ , she thought mischievously, a smile creeping on her lips.

Hillary cupped his manhood, massaging him just the way he liked it. In no time, he began to grow and harden in her palms. She bit her lip as she watched him arch his neck, the neck she loved to plant kisses on. _God he’s so sexy_. Hillary secretly cursed at the shirt that was still hanging on his torso, the only barricade between her and his hot, naked body.

As if he read her mind, Bill pulled his shirt off and lay it beside them. With the small remaining part of the brain that was functioning, Bill reached for the stove behind him and gingerly turned off the fire so that the pancakes wouldn´t burn. He didn’t want to explain himself to a police officer as to how they ended up with a fire on her kitchen.

Hillary busied herself with his stiff member. She showered him with kisses, licks and sucks. She concentrated on his head before giving a long, slow agonizing lick that drove him absolutely crazy. Bill fisted his hand on her soft hair, urging her to continue. Hillary felt a swell of pride in her chest when the litany of soft, breathy moans started to come out of his mouth.

Her soft lips glided smoothly up and down his hard flesh, robbing him of any semblance of coherent thought. Without warning, she took him deep inside her mouth, as far as she could comfortably take him. She paused, panting hotly over him.

“You taste so good, Honey,” she panted.

“I am glad you like me so much,” he smirked.

With a dangling string of saliva and precum connecting her lips to his shaft, she swallowed him again and again, like an ice popsicle in the summer heat. She frantically bobbed her head, sucking on him so intensely that he might forget the thought of leaving her ever again. His shivers of pleasure were his signs of affirmation, and her reward.

He fucked her mouth with his member until she could barely breathe and couldn't think straight. She gave her best shot, sucking strongly on his cock while holding him so tightly.

“I love you,” Hillary gasped heavily, blushing hard as she said so. And with those words, he got lost in his climax. Waves and waves of pleasure rolled all over his body, the strong spurts of his seed attested to the force of his climax. It wasn’t her sucks or licks that did him in. It was profession of her love to him the made him come undone.

Hillary willingly stuck her face out and opened her mouth to catch his cum. His seed stained her face and neck. Bill looked down on her, and damn, she never looked more beautiful.

Bill pulled her up and wiped the white fluid off her face with his thumb. She grabbed his hand and lazily sucked the seed off him. That moment, every doubt of Hillary not loving him was completely demolished.

“That was so hot, Hillary,” Bill sighed. “ _You’re_ so hot.”

“I know,” she smirked. “Now finish making breakfast for us.”

* * *

Hillary and Bill enjoyed their sumptuous breakfast – pancakes, bacon, eggs and coffee – on the couch, their legs tangled with each other. They held their plates as they ate, sometimes feeding each other with their bare hands. Nothing changed, really, except that they were more affectionate and more open to each other.

“Damn it, Bill. Your pancakes are still as good as I remembered,” Hillary chewed on her slice of pancake, not bothering to smother it with butter or syrup.

“Glad you still like my cooking,” Bill said proudly of himself. “Speaking of cooking, I haven’t had the chance to eat any of your peach pies.

She quirked a brow. “You’re kidding.”

“Yep. I spent all night moping around that I forgot that there were tons of peach pies around the corner.”

She smirked. “Ooooh, I didn’t know there was something that could pull you away from food.”

“Yep, only you can do it Baby,” he fed her a slice of pancake from his fork.

“Awwww, I didn’t know you were thinking about me yesterday,” she teased.

“Yeah, I did!” he chuckled, his mouth full of pancake. “If you hadn’t run away, I would have eaten a ton of pie!”

Now that the topic of their fight the previous night had been brought up, there was an air of seriousness that hung over their innocent flirtations.

“Who was that woman, by the way?” Hillary dared to ask, masking her fear in between mouthfuls.

Bill tried to keep it chill. “Oh, her? That was Amanda Suarez. She’s part of the First Lady’s staff.”

“What does a staff of the First Lady doing in Chicago?” Hillary was confused and oblivious of Bill’s intentions.

“I invited her,” Bill confessed. He was planning to gradually tell her everything.

“You invited her to what?”

“To the party,” he said.

Hillary squinted her eyes, trying to figure out what he just said. “Wait…wait…you knew about the party?”

Bill grinned sheepishly. “Aaaah, yeah. I coaxed Vernon into convincing you to do it.”

And in no time, Bill felt a soft cushion land in his face as she endlessly whacked him with the throw pillow playfully.

“YOU. SNEAKY. BASTARD,” she grunted in between whacks. “I. HAVEN’T. HAD. A. GOOD. NIGHT’S. SLEEP. IN. WEEKS.” Bill was so preoccupied with her hits that he didn’t notice that she already mounted him on his lap.

“Hey! Hey!” Bill tried to slow her down. “You got _one_ yesterday!”

Hillary stopped with her pillow attacks and pretended to be thinking hard. Oh how she loved to torture him so. “Hmmmm…was it?”

“Hey! You take that back!” Bill was clearly agitated.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “My sleep last night was pretty much the same.” It was a total lie, though. She had never slept better in years.

“Come’re,” Bill pulled her closer and caught her lips, giving everything he got to sway her mind. “Don’t tell me that you get that everyday.”

Hillary smirked. “No, I don’t.” She unmounted him and rested her head on his shoulder, using his arm as a pillow. “I missed you so much.”

He kissed her crown. “And I missed you too.”

“God, Bill. It’s been ten years,” she said as if she realized how long they’ve been apart just now.

“I know. It’s been so long. So much has changed,” he replied.

“We’re not whippersnappers anymore,” Hillary mumbled. “Things were vastly different the last time I threw you a party…”

**_January 1965 - Hope, Arkansas_ **

_Bill and Hillary snuggled lazily in front of the fireplace, wrapping themselves with a huge blanket that covered them both. It was unusually cold for Arkansan weather, and Bill, a boy still not used to the cold despite having lived on the other part of the country, was having the chills._

_“You’re not alright, Billy. You’re still cold!” Hillary scooted closer to keep him warm._

_“I don’t think I’ll ever be used to cold weather,” Bill almost sneezed, his nose very red like Rudolph. No matter how long he had been exposed to colder weather, it seemed that Bill would never get used to it. After all, they had already planned to move to DC after they graduated, where the winter was much colder than in Arkansas._

_Hillary tried very hard to suppress her giggles, so as not to appear to make fun of him in his state. Instead, she removed her beanie and had Bill wear it, and followed it up with a quick peck on the cheek. It seemed to do the trick, as his shivering was substantially lessened._

_“Thanks, that helped a lot,” he gulped._

_“You’re welcome, Billy,” Hillary replied happily. “You are doing pretty badly with winter. Have you always been like this?”_

_“Oh yes. My Mama always make me wear layers and layers of jackets and sweatshirts,” he said. “But since I packed haphazardly for this trip and I have outgrown my old clothes in my cabinet, there’s nothing I can use. There are a lot of blankets but, they’re not the same as the sweatshirts. I can’t exactly walk around the house with blankets, can I?_

_She giggled, but underneath that was genuine concern. “Oh, poor Billy,” her voice was laced with empathy. “I could have helped you with the packing if I knew Professor Marsh moved your test.”_

_“I know you are having tests too so I couldn’t bother you,” he said. “But I know you are always taking care of me.”_

_Hillary blushed, and it was not because of the cold weather._

_“You know me better than I do, Hilly,” Bill said, in awe of his girlfriend. “You have this knack for anticipating other people’s needs. It’s astounding!”_

_She couldn’t help but smile, relishing the showers of praise given by the most special person in her life._

_“Your_ _empathy, and the ability to relate to other people, coupled with a very brilliant mind!” Bill continued his litany of praises, “With that kind of combination, I have no doubt that you’ll get far. Senator, the least. President, in my lifetime please!”_

_“Stop it,” Hillary gently slapped his arm, the heat rising in her cheeks, her ears relishing his words like honey. “You’re embarrassing me.”_

_“But it’s true!” Bill held her tighter. “Between the two of us, you’ll go farther. For one, you have more discipline than I do.”_

_His dry humor tickled her, and it caused her to let out a loud, belly laugh, her voice ringing across the first floor of the Clinton residence. “That I cannot dispute,” Hillary tried to catch her breath from the excessive laughing._

_“And I’ll be so proud serving as your First Gentleman,” Bill added._

_Hillary looked at him, her gaze suppressing the confusion, shock and fear inside her. She would have dismissed it if his tone hadn’t had a hint of seriousness. This..this was insane. They only had been dating exclusively for three months, and Bill already brought up the idea of marriage._

_Something none of her ex-boyfriends was able to do._

_Was…was he proposing?_

_The fear on her face did not go unnoticed to Bill, who knew every single one of her quirks, down to the last detail. He took her hand, and she instinctively pulled it away, but he held her tighter._

_“Bill…I…” she stammered._

_Bill kissed her on the temple to assuage her fears. Underneath the layers and layers of blankets, he reached for his back pocket and produced a ring with little stones encrusted on the band. It wasn’t the most beautiful ring, but it had the effect on her as if it held the most expensive diamond ever._

_Her eyes widened, her gaze fixed on the ring. “What is this?”_

_Bill chuckled. “I know that you’re probably weary of what I’m about to say, but I promise you, it’s not what you think.”_

_“Then what is it?” she almost choked._

_“This is a promise ring,” he said, his eyes falling on the ring, “And I have a promise to make to you.”_

_Her gaze was now to him, and so was her attention._

_“We are still young, and we still have a lot to explore, to achieve,” he said, “but, I want you to know that someday, I hope that I will be giving you a different ring a few years from now, and in front of a minister, I’ll be inserting a ring on your finger, and you into mine.”_

_He lifted her hand and inserted the promise ring on her ring finger._

_Tears started to gather in her eyes, her gaze still fixed on him. “And I promise to wait for that day. No matter how long it takes.”_

_Bill could not help his own tears flow. He hugged her tightly in front of the happily cackling fire, his love hotter and warmer than the fire could ever be._

_“I love you so much, Hilly.”_

**_August 1965 - Chicago, Illinois_ **

" _And then he tells the officer that he's not drunk, but you can just smell the sake coming off him, right? And as Bill goes to walk away from him, he walks right into a lamp post, falls on his ass, then as he gets back. He's looking at it, and before I know what's going on, he's kissing it. I mean, he's really getting into it before he pulls back and goes 'You're a lousy kisser!'. Needless to say, we were arrested that night and I had to call my dad," Bill’s roommate, Kip finished up._

_Everyone was laughing and laughed even more when Bill added, "Yeah, and you should have seen his father's face. I mean, if looks could kill, Kip would have been dead."_

_Kip looked over at him, a smirk on his face. "Oh yeah.. Live it up, Mr. I-don't-remember-that-day-because-I-was-too-drunk-to-walk. If the cop was standing in front of you, you would have kissed him."_

_It was the night of his going away party. Three weeks before he left, Hillary invited all of his friends, his classmates and some of his colleagues in the student government for a party. Bill was amazed that she managed to pull it off, given_ _that she was working_ _as her uncle’s assistant in his small company. Her summer was pretty preoccupied, yet she still managed to plan this magnificent going away party for him._

_And that was on top of the fact that she wasn’t speaking to him for week._

_Actually, she wasn’t speaking to him that night._

_A few weeks ago, Bill had decided to accept the offer from Rhodes to study in Oxford for a year, and Hillary was less than forthcoming with his decision. She made it very clear to him that she was happy that he got accepted, and yet she was still unhappy. Over the weeks, she became distant, until she finally stopped speaking to him altogether._

_Bill wasn’t entirely sure, but he had an idea as to why she was acting this way._

_In the midst of Kip’s ramblings, Bill wasn't listening because while his roommate was talking, he began to look around and noticed that Hillary wasn't around. Getting up from his chair, he said, "Excuse me," to the crowd and walked outside. Once outside, the noise from inside was lowered and it seemed more peaceful to him. A full moon hung in the sky, calling to him to enjoy its light and slumber. He closed his eyes, and as he did, the breeze picked up and moved over him. Tilting his head back, he let it wash over him, sending it strength to him and letting him gather up the courage it would take to speak to her._

_Already knowing where she was, Bill started in the general direction of the park and didn't stop until he saw her sitting there, her small frame on the bench, her head lowered, her sleek brown locks covering her face. Walking over to her, he stood there for a minute before speaking._

" _Why did you leave?" he asked, his voice soft, gentle and comforting._

_She didn't move, as she had known he would come to find her. She had known he would seek her out just as the moon sought the sky at night._

_"Because I needed to think," she said, her eyes still staring down at the ground and her small shoes._

_He didn't move. He didn't want to scare her or make her mad. Instead, he just stood there, over her, watching as if their emotions weren’t raging inside them. "I'm sorry," was all he could say._

_Hillary stood up. "For what? You're doing what you want to, you're chasing after your dream," she said as she turned away from him, unable to look at him. "I'm happy for you, Bill, really I am. I wish you the best of luck, with everything."_

" _I'm doing this for you, Hilly…"_

" _Don't say that." She turned back around at his words, a look of surprise plastered on her face before anger overtook it. "Don't you dare say that!"_

" _Why not? It's the truth," Bill begged for her understanding. "I need to do this, not only for me, not only because I'm wishing to become the best lawyer in the world, but because of you, Hilly." He walked over to where she stood, put his hands on her shoulders. "I have to do this."_

_Tears filled her bright blue eyes, but she held them back, not wanting him to see her cry. She pulled out of his embrace, moved away from him. Fists down at her side, she lowered her gaze and said, "And I've said I understand, haven't I? I told you that I was happy for you, what more do you want from me, Bill?" She was screaming._

_Pulling her close into his arms, he rested his chin on top of her head and said very quietly, “Your love.”_

_Quietly, Bill dipped his head and she tiptoed up, meeting halfway in the_ _roughest kiss they had ever shared, even rougher than their first time, on the same night when Bill told her that he would leave_ _. Bill unleashed the pent-up desire for her that consumed him for weeks, and he didn’t let anything pull him back. Hillary, despite her ill feelings towards him lately, wanted him as much as he wanted her, perhaps even more. And her desire was evidenced by the moan that involuntarily escaped from her swollen lips._

_Buried deep in his mind was the hope that he could make her afraid enough, repelled enough, to send him packing. To make his leaving less painful for the both of them. If she did, she would be safe from him, and he from her. He thought he could accomplish it quickly. But his plan backfired in the worst possible way. Instead of repulsing her, of intensifying her resentment towards him, she melted. She melted for him and she only clung to him tighter, so tight that Bill thought that it was now impossible to leave her._

_Oh God. He couldn’t pull away. She was too sweet for him to resist. To tempting and too attractive. She was already gripping at his shirt, and his body was finally catching up to his desire. He was certain that she was going to be pretty disgusted with his weakness, but she wasn’t. Instead, she was meeting his hard, brutal kisses with passion laced with lust._

_He broke away, but it was for his sake, not for hers. His breath came fast and raw. One hand was tangled in her soft, brown curls while his other was clamped tightly on her arm. He couldn't let her go. No matter how he screamed at himself to release her, he couldn't move. He couldn’t let her walk away. No._

_What was he doing? Why was he going to leave all this behind him?_ _Leave her behind him? Would she wait for him? Would she still be here when he came back, if he ever came back? His mind screamed at him. He closed his eyes, no longer able to look at her as they both tried to get their breathing under control. Her arm let go of his hand and Bill felt like he was being stabbed over and over again._

_“Bill?”_

_Bill knew what she was going to ask him. However, he couldn’t force himself to answer her questions. Instead, he cut her off._

_“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”_

_Hillary looked like an anvil had fallen on top of her head, and Bill regretted his words and actions almost immediately. He reached out to her, but she stepped back, jerking away from his approaching hand._

_“GET AWAY FROM ME!” she screamed tearily._

_He stood there, bent over at the waist and_ _listened to the words that broke his heart. She was telling him to leave? "Hilly…" was as far as he got before she cried out again._

_"WILL YOU JUST GO ALREADY?"_

_Bill straightened up and took a step away from her. He wiped his own tears before deciding to go back to the party. People must have been looking for him by now. As he turned around and left, Bill was praying, begging and sobbing at the powers that be that Hillary would follow him. Whatever he meant by that, Bill himself wasn’t sure._

_As he walked farther and farther away, Hillary controlled the dam of tears and her emotions that threatened to explode. No. Not here. Not while Bill was near. As he went back inside, she started to let go, watching him walk away from her, forever._

_“I love you, Billy.”_

Bill, his mind distant and unfeeling, absentmindedly planted a kiss on Hillary’s crown as he wrapped her tighter in his arms. All the while they were lounging on her couch, they had reminisced the events of ten years past, and somehow, it was more painful to him now than when it happened a decade ago. Maybe it was because he fully understood how she felt on the night of his farewell party. Maybe because he knew how she suffered for his selfishness, and despite knowing what he knew now, he would still have left. Bill couldn’t point a singular reason as to why he felt that way, but probably in the grander scheme of things, it wouldn’t matter. After all, they couldn’t change the past. There was no point crying over the things that they couldn’t change. There was only one way for them: forward.

“So, what do we do now?” Hillary asked as if she read his mind. “What are we now?”

“Well, what do you want?” he asked her. This time, it was her turn to choose.

She shrugged, “To be honest, I don’t know. But don’t get me wrong. I want you. God, I want you,” her fingers were already tracing his chin. “I want you here on my side. It’s just that I don’t know if I can leave my family behind and fulfill our dream with you. And, I can’t hold you back here. It’s…it’s unfair for you.”

“But Hilly,” his fingers lifted her chin, “We don’t have to go anywhere. We can still-“

She shook her head and cut her off. “As I’ve said before, I am not sure you won’t regret staying with me here in Chicago while you miss all the action in DC. I don’t want you to find yourself twenty or thirty years down the line, looking at someone else giving the State of the Union, imagining yourself giving that speech in that podium. Bill, I would have given everything to see you give that speech while I’m at the gallery. But, there are some things I could not sacrifice Bill, and that includes my family.”

Bill’s face hardened. Hillary always had the knack of bringing him back to Earth when his head was far too high up in the clouds. He was the idealist, while she was the realist.

“You’re right. I always thought things will be better when we’re together. But they’re not. Our dilemma is still there. We’re just…not in bad terms anymore,” he sighed.

“I am so sorry, Bill,” her caresses were part of her heartfelt apology. “I really am. But we need to think really hard about our future. I am just out of law school, and I already have a job offer from a prestigious law firm here in Chicago. As attractive as DC is, I’d be insane not to accept that offer.”

“I know,” he kissed her temple again. “You have to stretch your wings now and take flight. And me, I’ll just be happy watching you from the sidelines.”

She sighed. “I hope things have turned out differently for us, though.”

“I know,” he held her tighter. “But if there’s anything that turned out good from all of this, it’s that I love you more than I did ten years ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delayed post. I was supposed to post this yesterday but my last day as a professor (yikes, poor students) was so much fun and exhausting that I ended up coming home late and sleeping early. LOL. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Hillary fidgeted nervously as she went through airport security. Fuck. What in the world came unto her mind and told her that this was a good idea in the first place? This was probably the worst idea her lovesick brain had hatched so far, and she was pretty sure that she was going to regret her decision the moment she landed in New York.

Before Bill left Hillary’s house after their night together on his birthday party, he told her that he would be leaving for New York the next day for another job interview. He begged her to come, just to try out on one of the interviews. He even volunteered to pay for her air fare and hotel accommodations, but she quickly threw cold water on his hopes that he would be able to convince her to follow him on DC. She remained resolute on her decision to stay in Chicago. Despite Bill’s disappointment on her willingness to give up her dreams, he had developed a new sense of admiration for her: she was willing to sacrifice everything, even her own personal happiness, just to keep her family together. Bill couldn’t say a word against it. And deep inside, he was a little regretful that in some alternate reality, she would have been a great mother to their children. Or perhaps an amazing grandmother to their numerous grandchildren.

As Bill left her doorstep, yet again, Hillary felt like the cycle that had started ten years ago had begun anew. He would leave her. She would feel terrible. She would need him but not ask for his help. She would be miserable again. Before she knew it, probably another ten years would gone by. Hadn’t she learned something from all of this. She was a smart woman, and she knew how to detect her mistakes. But…but why couldn’t she see hers in this situation?

_If I truly love him, I need to go after him.  I should have done so ten years ago. Fuck my womanly pride._

Yes. She had made a mistake. She didn’t want fight for them hard enough. She wallowed in her own self-pity and she had completely forgotten that Bill needed to do this for himself and for both of them.

_But…he made a mistake too! He didn’t even ask me what I thought before making his decision to stay! I thought he said that I was always going to be a part of his life! If so, then why did he completely shut me out of his decision and just broke it to me when everything was said and done?_

Well, it certainly appeared that he too was going to make the same mistake again. Hillary figured that he hadn’t learned from their past. She could have insisted on her womanly pride and let him realize that for himself, but she had been hurt too much for so long. And although his pain wasn’t as pronounced as hers, she was sure he had been hurt a lot too.

_Our future is more important than my pride. And if_ _things don´t work out between us, then so be it. At least this time, I can truly say to myself that I have fought for us, that I did everything to salvage what was left of our love, a love that we almost destroyed because we were too stubborn._

With that in mind, Hillary decided to fly to New York to follow him. While she herself wasn’t sure what she wanted to accomplish in that trip, she was certain that she needed to be with him when he made another life-changing decision.

And besides, she badly a needed a vacation. New York sounded amazing right?

Well, at first, heroically following Bill to New York seemed like a good idea, but her plan gradually fell apart when she started to work on the kinks. At first, she checked with the local travel agency and her jaw dropped after the travel assistant told her the entire cost of her trip to New York. She kept the brochure, but left the agency crestfallen.

When she got home, her brothers noticed that she was distant and aloof. She lied, telling them it was only due to exhaustion, but the boys didn’t buy it. That night, they sneaked into her bedroom and saw the brochure with the total amount of her planned NY trip. Like everybody else, they had been telling Hillary to take a vacation but their sister was too stubborn to listen. Looking at the brochure, they were glad that she had finally listened (although they were sure that she had another agenda in NY other than stretching her legs in her hotel room).

So the next day, the Rodham brothers went to the travel agency and secretly booked an all-expense paid trip for her and used their savings to pay for it. They braced themselves for the berating that they would get from their older sister but it was all worth it. For them, no amount of money could match the happiness that they would be able to give her, the woman who stood as their mother and father ever since their parents were forcibly taken away from them.

When Hughie and Tony presented Hillary with the plane tickets and hotel accommodation, the expected berating had come, but in the end, Hillary was in tears, grateful for the gift her boys had given her. She probably hadn’t been this happy since the day she accepted her diploma at Wellesley, that bright spot in her awful decade.

With everything paid for (including her own pocket money!), Hillary looked forward to her first time in New York. However, her trip wasn’t as smooth as she had hoped for. First, the car that she hired to bring her to the airport (she was wise enough this time not to use her own car) fetched her late so she managed to arrive at the Chicago airport just thirty minutes before her flight.

And now, airport security was stressing her out.

Hillary took a deep breath and prayed that this was not going to be an epic fail.

_Please please please… I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. Please don’t let this be one too._

* * *

It was already dark when Bill walked into his hotel room and sighed. The interview with the legal department of the UN Office of the Secretary General went way longer than usual. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing though, as the guy who was going to be his boss, Carlos Romulo, was so fond of him that he invited him for lunch, and they went overtime. Over meals, they discussed his future. At first, Bill was uncomfortable at the subject, as it would require him disclosing his other job offers, but Romulo proved to be a very open minded man and seemed to be genuinely interested in helping her out. Eventually, he confessed that his decisions hinged another person´s choices. A woman´s choices to be exact. Romulo quickly figured out that the woman Bill was talking about was a pretty special one.

“Oh, no, no, Bill,” Romulo clapped Bill’s shoulder, “if you´d just told me early on that you are waiting for this woman, then we could have skipped all the crap about your career options.”

“What do you mean, Sir?” Bill was confused.

“Well,” Romulo licked his lips, “if there’s a woman involved, and you sure seem to look like you’re thinking long term here, then that changes everything doesn’t it?”

Romulo’s words were stuck in his head even when he got back to his hotel. To be honest, Bill was looking for a different answer. Yes he would follow her…but what if she didn’t want to? What if she wanted something that was vastly different from what he wanted? What if she decided to throw everything they had?

No. There had to be another answer.

But his search for the right answer temporarily came into a halt when he opened the door to his hotel room and something sitting on the coffee caught the corner of his eye.

_Fresh flowers? I didn't buy any fresh flowers, especially not roses. Must have been the housekeeping._

Wait. Bill hadn’t asked for housekeeping services. There was something clearly amiss. Standing there for a few more minutes and deciding that maybe he'd been working too much, he started towards the bed. He was about to let out a yawn when he stopped dead in his tracks.

Fresh rose petals were scattered all over his bed, candles lit in every corner. Outside this room, standing on the balcony that over looked the busting city below, was a goddess.

She stood on his balcony like some kind of dream, wind blowing her curly brown hair behind her, as the sunlight caught it. She wore a light sundress, with shoes that made her look taller than she was, white laces wrapping up and around her knees.

He stepped out through the open doors, just staring at her as if she were a vision in white. It was his footsteps that made her aware of his presence.

 Without turning around, she said, "Hello, Bill"

He blinked twice, not quite believing his eyes. “Hilly? But…but how? What are you doing here?”

Hillary finally turned around and smiled. “I’m glad to see you too.” She walked past him and into the area of the hotel room which served as the living room. She folded her dress underneath her and sat down on the couch. “It’s really amazing here in New York.”

Bill followed her inside, still staring at her. “Hilly…what are you doing here? How did you even get here? And how did you even manage to enter my room?”

Hillary tilted her head, still smiling.

“My brothers bought me an all-expense paid trip. And of course, you told me where you’ll be staying so I went to reception to look for you. And then I found out that you booked this room for us, so I decided to check in as well. I now have a key too,” Hillary dangled her key on her fingertips.

Bill cleared his throat. “Well, that was elaborate. But…but why did you follow me? I thought you wanted to stay in Chicago?”

“I…” she looked towards the balcony, “I wanted to be here in case you made a decision.”

“What do you mean?” Bill stepped closer.

“The last time you made a very important decision – whether you’ll stay in Oxford or return back home – you shut me out completely. I didn’t know you were thinking about it until you finally told me that you were staying. I wonder if it ever occurred to you back then to ask me how I felt about it before you made a decision.” she said.

Bill gulped. Hillary’s words hit home.

She nodded sadly. “I didn’t think so. I figured that your probably hadn’t thought of that until now.” She stood up and went up to him. “Well, I am here. Whatever your decision is, I want to be in it. Or at least, I want to be informed of everything before you make one. I won’t let the mistakes of our past be made again. No. We are older and wiser Bill. Let’s not blow this chance away, even if we end up not being together. I don’t want any regrets. I already accumulated so much to last me a lifetime.”

Right. Every word that came out of Hillary’s lips was right. Indeed, he did not think of asking her opinion when he decided to stay in Oxford, and it was very insensitive of him to do so.  Bill closed his eyes and sighed.

“I’m…sorry,” he dipped his head so that their foreheads were touching. “I should have thought of you back then. I thought that because I’ve been doing all of this for you, then I’d thought you approve. It didn’t occur to me that you missed me so much and you were alone. I’m so sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” she whispered, her heart glad that he finally saw reason. “Don’t do that ever again. Or at least until you’re with me.”

“I promise,” their eyes locked once again, and both pairs of eyes darkened as their distance slowly vanished, they breaths fanning their skins. It was his touch that turned her into hot molten lava, making her ease towards him. She watched his gaze drop to her mouth, linger for a few seconds before it came back to hers. Felt his breath mix with her breath, and his heart beat against hers. They held there, one endless moment, and then their lips met.

His hands were in her hair, and then down to her face, where his hands molded against it. She found his mouth again, her tongue in a slow, lazy duel against his. He heard the shudder of her breath as she stepped back to balance herself.

Hillary, emboldened by his very favorable reaction, grabbed Bill’s hands and pulled them on her back where the hook of her bra was. She nudged him to remove her bra as she kept the sweet assault on his mouth. Bill, on the other hand, was only too happy to oblige. He splayed his large hand on her back, signaling that he got the message, and he snaked his other hand inside her dress. It was hard to concentrate between giving sloppy kisses and removing her bra, but after several lame attempts, he did it. He pulled her bra upwards and lay it down on the floor, focusing on her delicious body.

“Billy,” Hillary finally broke away, gasping. As she caught her breath, she wasted no time unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his shirt. Bill smirked at her eagerness and her impatience. Oh, she wanted him. She wanted him bad.  And apparently, Hillary wasn’t the only one who was eager, as there was already a visible tent in his pants.

“Already?” she teased him, pawing his chest.

“Shouldn’t you take that as a compliment?” Bill pushed his hips so that she could feel him better.

Oh yes. The friction of his bulge against her legs felt oh so delicious. Hillary bit her lip, trying to stop herself from ripping his (probably expensive) pants.

“So, what are we waiting for? You didn’t decorate the bed for us just to stare at, did you?” Bill motioned at the large bed filled with rose petals.

“No,” Hillary bit her lip again, unafraid to let Bill see how much she wanted him. Why would she hide it anyway? It was the fucking truth. And besides, she knew that Bill wanted her as bad as she wanted him. It was just a simple give and take. “So, what are we waiting for?” she echoed his words, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Carry me to the bed?”

Bill smirked. His girl wanted to be babied. “Gladly.” He scooped her in his arms and gently lay her on the bed, like a groom doing his bride on their wedding night. Bill pulled away to push his shirt off. Hillary, on the other hand, had other things in mind. While Bill was discarding his shirt, her foot crept from his legs, up to his erection where she agonizingly rubbed her foot on his hardness, all the way up to the suspenders of his pants. Bill unzipped his pants and he let her do all the work. Hillary’s toes clasped the edge of his pants and slowly pulled them down his legs. The agonizing pace drove Bill absolutely nuts. He then stepped out of his pants. All that was left on him were his briefs, whose fabric could not hide his straining member.

“I like it,” Hillary licked her lips as her foot massaged his erection.

“That’s it, Baby,” he coaxed her. “That feels so good.”

“Only for you,” she said huskily. She brought her foot down to undress herself. But before she could touch the fringe of her dress, Bill stopped her hand, wearing a smirk on his face.

“No, you won’t,” he said, pushing her hand away. “I’ll undress you.”

“Be my guest,” she said.

Bill came down to the bed giddily. He took the fringe of her dress and slowly pulled the garment upward, his finger tracing every inch of smooth creamy skin that it passed on. Hillary enjoyed the attention that accompanied the removal of her dress, as it increased her anticipation. Once she was free from her dress that Bill tried so hard not to rip apart, Hillary pulled him down to the bed and latched her lips in to his, continuing her sweet assault on his mouth.

“Wait, wait,” Bill chuckled. “You still have your panties on.”

“And they ain’t gonna remove themselves” she quipped. “Take them off me.”

“As you wish, my Queen,” he said.

Bill took too much time undressing Hillary that by the time he had to take off her panties, his patience was almost extinguished. He quickly pulled her panties off, and he was met with her hot, wet center, covered in little chestnut curls. Before Hillary could pull him up, Bill dived to her core and lapped on her with gusto.

“Oh, God…Bill” was all she could muster.

_Oh God, yes. Say my name_ , Bill thought as he pleasured her with his tongue. Her gasps and moans further infuriated his already raging member, which was already very stiff with need, thanks to Hillary teasing it with her foot. Bill didn’t want to admit it just yet, but it was the most arousing experience he had ever had. Even better than Hillary taking him with her mouth.

“Yes, yes, Bill…” Hillary was bucking hard against his face, making it harder and harder for him to catch her hard nub. As she was riding his face, Bill gently thrusted his tongue into her entrance, and he could feel the stiffening of her walls. She was ready to come any time soon.

Hillary’s gasps were now shorter and more erratic. Her feet were kicking on every direction, sometimes narrowly missing Bill. Her hips were bucking harder than ever. She pawed the rose-laden sheets with her right fist her left hand held on to the headboard.

When she cried out, he fought the urge to smile, not that she could see him. But he lavished her again and paused as she bucked harder against his face. He massaged her back side and then sucked her bud firmly.

“Oh fuck, Billy! Yes, yes, yessss!”

Now she was really rocking against his face and he tested her walls with his tongue and knew instantly that she was coming. He licked her firmly several more times. And then she came, _hard_. Giving up everything she had and he didn’t dare stop. All through her orgasm, he continued licking her until she all but collapsed. When she gently removed herself and then she was heavily sitting on his stomach. Her entrance was still throbbing a little bit.

“That was…” she panted, “that was out of this world, Billy.”

“Thank you,” Bill pulled himself up and caught her in a kiss, letting her taste her own essence. “Are you happy?”

Hillary nodded. “I am. I can’t wait for the next time.”

Bill had another thing in mind, and he thought that he would try something new, something that he hoped would make Hillary very satisfied. Instead of hovering above her, Bill lied on the bed, surrounding himself with pillows.

“What are you doing, Bill? Said a confused Hillary.

“I want you to take control, Darlin’,” he replied. I want you to seek your own pleasure. Use me, Hillary for I am yours forever.”

Hillary bent down her head and willed herself not to cry. She found his offer very sweet. _No,_ she scolded herself to keep it cool. Now’s not the time for tears. _Now is the time for lust, for pleasure…and for love._

“Billy, I’ve never done this before. Not even before…that happened. I don’t know how to do this, what if I hurt you?”

“I am a grown man, Hilly. I can take this. Don’t you worry about me,” he assured her.

“Help me, Billy,” she said. “Guide me.”

Hillary scooted back and saw the large bulge buried in his briefs, begging for her tight wetness. She slowly pulled his last piece of garment and moved forward and positioned herself on top of Bill. He gently stroked himself and then spread her entrance wide, guiding her onto him. She slowly mounted him, taking him inch by agonizing inch. She waited for her body to adjust to him before further sinking down. And when he was fully sheathed, Bill rested his hands on her hips, ready to guide her when she was ready.

Hillary leaned forward and began to move, she rocked against him, over and over, as if testing herself. Then she moved forward and he felt the moment her sweet spot rubbed against his shaft. “Yes, right there…God that feels so good. Fuck!"

“Atta girl,” Bill mentally praised her.

She continued to ride him, pressing hard against him and rocking her hips. It took everything for Bill not to move his hips, as he wanted her to take control, but the erotic sounds that came out of her lips were pushing him towards the edge. She moaned louder and louder, and soon she was trembling.

“I don’t think I can keep this anymore, Billy,” Hillary panted. “I’m getting tired, and I want to come soon.”

Bill shot her a grin as he carefully sat up with her in his lap and cautiously laid her down on the bed. He paused only to make sure she was comfortable before he angled her hips and began to thrust into her, going slowly at first and then going faster as her cries got louder.

“Please, Billy! Harder! I am so close,” she begged. Bill stretched over her until they were nose to nose and kissed her soundly. “Hold on tight, Hilly. Your wish is my command.” Then he leaned back and spread her as wide as she could before he really started pounding into her. Her cries reached a pitch he didn’t think possible as he felt the first signs of her impending climax. He only sped up, going faster and pushing harder into her and then she came hard, holding on to his arms as he drove hard into her. His eyes never left hers as he worked to bring on his own release and seconds later, he felt himself cum and he never stopped as he emptied his load into her depths.

With their euphoria over, Bill gently lowered himself onto the bed. They both lay in there, cuddling against each other and Hillary looked very worn out, but the glimmer in her eyes told him that she was very satisfied.

“How are you feeling, Hilly?”

Hillary giggled at him. “I feel great, Billy. Thank you. You are an amazing lover.” She showed her gratitude to him with a kiss.

“I am glad that you enjoyed it. From now on, I want you to check out from your hotel and just stay here with me,” he said. His tone suddenly became serious. “Hilly, I know that the prospect of leaving Chicago is scary for you, and I realized that I might be forcing you too hard for what I want. Well, I still want our dream to come true, but you don’t have to do what I want.” He cupped her face with his hands. “While you’re here in New York, I want you enjoy yourself. Be free from the worries that await you back home. You don’t have to make a decision. You don’t even have to think. We’ll take it slow. If you want to come to an interview, then I’ll accompany you. But if not, it’s perfectly okay as well. Understood?”

Hillary smiled as tears started to pool on her eyes. What on Earth did she do to deserve Bill?

“Yes, I understood perfectly,” she said.

With that, she rested her head on his chest, looking forward to dreaming again.

* * *

The next day, Hillary woke up with Bill snoring beside her. She loved it when his snores woke her up in the morning. Occasionally, it woke her up in the middle of the night but his warmth lulled her back to sleep. And besides, his snoring was far more bearable than the idea of waking up without Bill on her side.

Hillary gently pulled herself up, so as not to wake him up. She quietly picked up their clothes that lay discarded on the floor, evidence of their wild lovemaking last night. She dumped the dirty clothes into a corner of the room. She then walked to the cabinet and pulled her luggage bag and fished a small medicine bag.

She went inside the bathroom, taking the medicine bag with her. She opened the small bag, and one by one, she took out all of her birth control pills. She stepped on the lever of the trash bin and quietly dumped every single pill into the bin.

She gave a long hard look at the pills one last time, intending the gesture to be a symbolism of her leap of faith. That night, when Bill was asleep, she decided to start dreaming again. To try. To see if it would work. She made a gamble with herself, a gamble that she hoped she would not regret: if she got pregnant during her stay in New York, then she would leave Chicago and follow him wherever he would go.

If not, the she would have to figure it out for herself.

_But what if I don’t become pregnant? Will it be the end for us?_

For now, she didn’t want to think. For the next two weeks, it would only be her and Bill, catching up on the time that they lost and the memories that they failed to create.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am quite surprised that the feedback I have gotten on the last chapter had the impression that they were breaking up. They weren't, actually. Hillary was just really thinking hard about what she was going to do, though the possibility of finally parting ways with Bill loomed over her head. 
> 
> Again, thanks for the feedback!


	8. Chapter 8

Hillary was tired.

She had been to the Central Park, Central Station, rode a train, seen the Empire State Building and the Twin Towers, rode a ferry to Staten Island, went to the Statue of Liberty with Bill, watched a show on Broadway, among other things. And at night, she spent the entire time making love with Bill. There was even a time when they made love in a jacuzzi. The rent for the jacuzzi was quite a lot, but it was all worth it. Who knew both of them were impartial to boiling water?

One lazy afternoon, Hillary was standing in the balcony, staring at the bustling city. She was staring at New York. New York, the city where dreams come true. Hillary wondered if New York could fulfill her dreams too. After all, it was one of the options Bill gave to her. A few days ago, she was successfully pulled into an interview in a well-regarded charity in New York and the head of the foundation looking to hire her could not be more pleased. The offer was tempting too. In addition to very competitive benefits, she would have the opportunity to do her passion: being an advocate for children and families.

On top of that, there was the gamble that she made with herself. Like her other decisions, she was beginning to regret this one. Shit. What if Bill left and she got pregnant out of wedlock? She didn’t even know if Bill wanted a child at this point. All she knew was that he wanted to build on their dream, and a baby wouldn’t exactly help them with that. What if Bill got tired of waiting and waiting for her decision that he gave up and then she would suddenly arrive at his doorstep, sporting a maternity dress? Urgh. With each day that passed, Hillary became more and more uncertain that she would be able to hold on to that gamble.

With only three days left to her vacation, Bill was determined to make the most out of her remaining time. Since Hillary was tired from all of the sightseeing and lovemaking, she didn’t want to get out of bed. But Bill was already hungry, so he fixed the situation by ordering room service and set up breakfast in bed. She was woken up by the delicious smell of pancakes, bacon, hash browns and coffee. His ingenuity was rewarded by a passionate kiss. But before they could get ahead of themselves, Hillary pulled away and directed her attention to the sumptuous breakfast in front of them.

The rest of the day was spent on their bed, either watching TV, reading or just lazily chatting as they played with each other’s hair. They hadn’t had this kind of idle time in quite a while. And truth be told, it felt good. Just lounging and relaxing with nothing to do was the respite they needed in the middle of a whirlwind that had been going on in their lives right now.

Of course, the night was spent making love.

When the time had come for her to return to Chicago, it was with the heaviest heart that Hillary hailed a cab on the way to JFK airport. Bill was dreading her departure more, though. For weeks, he had been used to the pleasantness of being able to see her face when he woke up. It would only be three weeks until they saw each other again, but the separation was still hard. They could not believe that they lost touch for ten years. How the hell did they manage to survive?

In the middle of a busy hotel lobby, Bill kissed her like there was no tomorrow. He kissed her like his life depended on it. And she reciprocated his passion. They were starting to attract a mixture of curious and disgusted looks from the hotel guests and staff alike, but they didn’t care. It was only when a staff subtly coughed in the background that they decided to pull away. As it turned out, the cab that was supposed to carry Hillary to the airport was already waiting.

As Hillary flew back to Chicago, she didn’t waste time letting her reservations crawl back to the forefront of her mind. She was already contemplating about her future with Bill, and the gamble she had taken. The two weeks with Bill didn’t tip the scale to either direction. If anything, it only made her more erratic and compulsive. At one moment, she was all for going with Bill, and then a few seconds later she would pull back and choose to remain in Chicago.

The two weeks without Bill drove her crazy, and his calls from NY didn’t exactly help. Every time he called and told her about this meeting with a guy offering him or both of them a job, she was again sucked into that raging internal dilemma. Also, she felt like being pulled apart in every direction whenever she listened to his voice. She was craving for his calls, his voice. She missed him terribly, but she didn’t want to hear what he had to say, as it only drove her further into her turmoil. So whenever he touched the topic, she would quickly divert the conversation to more enjoyable territory: his food trips, the other places that he went to, the other people that he met.

But in the midst of her dilemma, she could not help but feel pride in his success and accomplishment. He’d come so far since he left, and he deserved every single good thing that was coming to his life right now. After all, she knew the real Bill: a smart, charming, hardworking man with a heart of gold.

* * *

The day before Bill arrived, Hillary woke up at the sound of the alarm clock, feeling queasy and anxious. She woke up earlier than usual, which was saying something since Hillary was an early riser. She was up all night, thinking and speculating about this day.  Countless thoughts were wasted and numerous hours were spent speculating how this might end. Hillary had almost driven herself crazy because of the excessive thought and attention she had given to this day.

Because today was the day that she was going to take the pregnancy test.

Today was her own judgement day.

She was looking for a sign – any sign, no matter how foolish it was – that she was destined to be with Bill, that the universe was conspiring to give them their happy ending. Since they had made love countless times, why not let the fates decide if they were meant to be? And what better way to test destiny that undergoing the natural process of procreation? Hillary liked the idea at first, but she realized a few weeks ago that it was an incredibly stupid idea not to tell Bill about her not using the pill. All the while, Bill thought that she was using birth control (since it was helping her cycle), but she secretly dumped the pills to test the forces of nature to determine whether or not she should give up everything and be with him.

Deep inside, despite her denials to herself, Hillary knew that her gambit was just a rouse to justify being with Bill. Although she wanted to, she felt that it wasn’t enough for her to give up her family in Chicago and to go with him wherever he dictated to. Her mind was asking her heart for a damn good reason for her to follow Bill, but the latter couldn’t give one, although it wanted to. As, one might say, a compromise, Hillary thought of doing this gambit to appease her mind.

Would being with Bill make her happy? Yes.

Would being with him make her content? She was not sure.

But still, with the cons attached to her foolish decision, she went for it anyway. After all, she had readied herself for the consequences.

When she entered her bathroom, Hillary took the three boxes of home pregnancy kits from the medicine cabinet. She carefully unboxed each one, muttering a prayer as she did so. She peed on all three test sticks and stood by the door for the most agonizing two minutes of her life.

By the time the two-minute waiting period was up, Hillary took a peek and saw a line forming on the sticks. She took a deep breath as she waited for the second line to come out. Her eyes jumped from each stick to the other, hoping that the second line would appear. Another thirty seconds had passed and still no second line. Her heart began racing. Hillary picked up a stick and brought it closer to her eyes, squinting just in case that her poor eyesight had failed her. She waited for more than a minute and nothing happened. Her hands were starting to shake and her sweat began to cool. She picked up another stick and did the same thing she did with the first. The results were the same, though. Almost in tears, she laid down the stick on top of the counter and picked up the last stick. This time, she tried shaking the stick, but alas, nothing was happening. She looked at the first stick again, and it was the same as when she left it earlier.

Sobbing and panting, a heartbroken Hillary leaned on the door, her legs too weak to support her weight.

They weren’t meant to be together after all.

She closed her tear-ladden eyes, quietly sobbing inside her bathroom. She clenched her first and rested her head on the door, scolding herself for making the same mistake she did when she was younger.

_Dreams are just illusions, Hillary. How could you forget that?_

Well, at least, Hillary thought, Bill wouldn’t be shell-shocked by his pregnant girlfriend who concealed that she wasn’t taking her birth control pills on purpose.

* * *

Bill directed his taxi not to his apartment, but to a snack bar just three blocks away from Hillary’s house. He was tired from the flight from New York, but it didn’t matter. He had been meeting a lot of people in New York in the past weeks, and Bill believed that none of them was as important as the ones he would be seeing at the said bar.

When he arrived at the snack bar, he found the Rodham brothers sitting on the far end of the place, just the two of them with sandwiches on their plates and a glass of root beer apiece. Bill raised his hand to get their attention. It was not long until Tony caught his eye, and he too raised a hand to acknowledge him. Pulling his luggage bags behind him, Bill walked towards the Rodham brothers, who pulled a chair of him as their welcome.

“Hi,” Bill greeted the Rodhams.

“Hi,” said Hughie.

“Hey, Bill,” Tony nodded.

“I just want to thank you for accepting my invitation. I am flattered, since I have an impression that you aren’t exactly fond of me,” Bill said.

“You got that right, Clinton. After all, you deserted our sister while your reaped abroad,” Hugh said icily.

Bill grimaced when Hughie reminded him of his colossal failure as a boyfriend. “Yes, I admit to it. I don’t like being reminded of it but that’s the truth.”

“I’m glad you are aware of it, Clinton,” Tony said menacingly. “You aren’t exactly the model boyfriend.”

“I know. That’s why I am making it up to your sister,” he said. “I am putting my life on hold for her just as she did for me.”

“You aren’t exactly putting your life on hold for her, mate,” Hughie corrected him. “You are just in between jobs, but you still have every opportunity at your disposal. She, on the other hand-“

“-had to juggle classes and work just to support us and not bother you in your career,” Tony finished. “Basically, she had to be Wonder Woman, and you are just sitting in your ass, meeting people, making calls…”

“That is true,” Bill admitted. Although his ego was experiencing a good beating from the Rodham brothers, he couldn´t exactly deny that what they were saying was true. Hillary had to be Herculean just to keep things afloat in her life, and he was just there, talking to people and burning cash.

“We know what you want to talk about, Clinton,” Hughie said. “We knew you’d call us for a chat.”

“It’s obvious to us for a while now,” added Tony.

Bill sighed. “Well, I guess there’s no point telling you what my intentions are.”

“It’s been obvious for a while,” Hughie noted. “You just didn’t come back to the US for an apology tour.”

“No, I did not,” Bill shook his head. “I’m staying in here for good.”

“And you really think our sister will come to you? Especially after what you did to her?” Tony tested him.

“Well, I hope that she would,” Bill confessed, guilt creeping up to his veins again, “but if she doesn’t, then I respect that. So far, we have been in good terms, but she still doesn’t want to commit. She’s worrying about keeping her family together. I suppose that’s normal, since she has taken up the role of being the head of the family since Hugh and Dorothy died.”

“If it’s us that she’s worried about, then it’s not much of a problem,” Hughie told Bill. “We’re old enough to support ourselves now. I am already working and Tony is just a year away from graduation. To tell you the truth, we were apprehensive when we heard that _you_ arrived.”

“We thought that you’ll just be here to confuse her over again,” Tony added.

“But I would never-“

Hughie interrupted Bill, raising up his palm to silence his sister’s lover. “If you leave again, we don´t  think she will recover. She loves you more today that she has before. You are going to get her hopes up and gain and then leave her like that?”

“But I won’t ever leave her again, unless she tells me to go,” Bill said defensively.

“You know Hillary as much as we do, Bill,” Tony called his bullshit. “She can’t

“But it’s different this time,” Bill declared. “I have already decided to give up my life for her. I am ready to follow her wherever she goes. Chicago, New York, DC, even Antartica. I believe that she wants to have a family with me. She…she is just afraid that she’ll pull me back if we settled down.”

Unbeknownst to Hillary, Bill saw the birth control pills that she threw in the trash bin the morning after she came to his hotel room. It was an epiphany of sorts to Bill. It elated him as much as it scared him. A family with Hillary….wow. But, he feared that she might run away if he pushed too hard. But after weeks of reflection, he finally figured out the simplest and most straightforward solution: Give up everything he had and follow her. He was smacking himself for taking so long to figure that out. _If I love her so much, it shouldn’t be hard to give up everything, right?_

 “You are right,” Hughie conceded. “I saw her looking at furniture a few weeks ago, after she came back from NY. I knew it wasn’t for our house since ours is perfectly okay. She is wanting things for herself again.”

“Hillary is pretty selfless ever since we were kids, but it became extreme when the responsibility of being our mother and father was shoved unto her,” Tony explained. “She wouldn’t buy a dress if Betsy hadn’t forced her to, or she needed one out of extreme necessity. Those curls in her hair? We asked Betsy to drag her to the salon but we secretly paid for it. That’s how frugal she became.”

“Jesus,” Bill gasped, rubbing his jaw.

“But, she’s getting better now,” Hughie fondly recalled, a smile slowly appearing on his face. “She’s finally learning how to be happy.”

“And it’s all thanks to you, Bill,” Tony said.

Bill was flattered to be given credit for Hillary’s recovery, but not entirely so. After all, he was responsible for her collapse in the first place. He licked his lips. “I am glad to hear that, but I am the reason why she was awful in the first place.

“We know,” Hugh replied. “And from what we’ve seen, you are committed to making up to her for the rest of your life.”

Tony was already smiling. “You love her more than anyone, including us. And for me and Hughie, I think that’s enough reason to give you our blessing.”

Bill was speechless from the Rodhams’ pronouncement. “I-I-I…”

“Whatever you are planning to do, do it as soon as possible. Strike while the iron is hot. Hillary is at a crossroads. She just needs a sign that whatever she will decide will be alright,” Hughie encouraged him. “And if anyone should give Hillary an assurance, it’s you. She’s just waiting for you to tell her that everything will be alright.”

Bill nodded, smiling. It was the best news he had received in weeks.

“I promise, I will love her and make it up to her for the rest of her life,” he vowed. “And if I fail on that promise, then you can haunt me in the afterlife and make me pay for it.”

* * *

After receiving the Rodham brothers’ blessing, Bill didn’t waste time cooking up his plans to ask Hillary to marry him. After all, his plan to do so had been stalled already, and he wouldn’t allow anything to get in his way, not even hell, not even death. He promised to himself that Hillary would have him, for better or for worse.

As soon as he reached his apartment, he quickly got into the phone and dialed Hillary’s number. After three rings, he heard her sweet voice.

“Hello?” Hillary said.

“Hi Hilly. It’s me, Billy,” he said, his voice a little too giddy. “I’ve just arrived.”

“Oh, hey Billy,” she didn’t sound as excited as Bill expected her to be. “How was your flight?”

“It was uneventful, thank goodness,” he said. “How are you? How’s my Baby?”

“Oh,” she didn’t seem to be excited to answer the question. “Alright, I guess.”

Bill couldn’t help breaking his silence. “Is there anything wrong, Darlin’?”

“No,” Hillary lied. “I am just under the weather.”

“I’ll come right over,” he said.

To Bill’s surprise, Hillary replied, “Please. I need you.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, Baby.”

“Alright, see you.”

Bill put down the phone and raced to pack clean clothes on his duffel bag. He then searched for the velvet box he carried and protected with his life over the past few weeks, and the envelope Hughie gave to him a while ago after he received the latter’s blessing. With only the necessities, he left his apartment like he was leaving his whole life.

He was ready to be with her.

* * *

When Bill arrived at her house, Hillary was snuggling at the sofa, her legs folded and crying on the throw pillow. Ever since she took the pregnancy test, she was in dashing in and out of her misery. She could not really decide whether to be disappointed or relieved that she wasn’t pregnant. To make things worse for herself, she had called in sick from work (the first time she had done so in years) just to wallow in her conflicted feelings.

Bill, seeing the wretched state of his girlfriend, hurried towards her and sat beside her, dropping his bag near his foot. He wrapped an arm around her as the other gently wiped the tears that had fallen in her face.

“What’s wrong, Hilly?” he asked, his voice laced with genuine concern.

“Billy,” she cried. “I…I have done something wrong, and I know you’ll despise me.”

_Despise her? Impossible. “_ What is it, my love?”

Hillary turned away from him, so she could not see his eyes when she confessed. “I have betrayed your trust, Billy.”

“How?” Panic began to rise in his chest, his heart beating twice as fast. Bill hoped that she wasn’t going to confess that she had been seeing other men. _Please, anything but that. I’d rather die than to have that happen._

Hillary sniffed. “I…I wasn’t being transparent to you.”

“In what sense?” God, the agony was killing him.

“For quite some time now, I have been debating with myself whether to follow you and leave my family here in Chicago or to finally end things with you so you will have your career,” Hillary sobbed. I couldn’t decide what to do, I thought I’d make a gamble with myself: I stopped taking my birth control pills and if I thought that if I got pregnant during our vacation, then I would go with you. If not, then I would stay in Chicago.”

Hillary finally looked at Bill, tears blurring her vision. “I made a mistake Bill. I realized that I should have told you of my plan. I only realized later on that you also have a stake in my decision. What if I get pregnant and you don’t want the baby? What if you loathe me for it?”

Bill kissed the top of her head. “Well, I appreciate your transparency and your apology,” he stroked her chin. “To be honest, I knew all the while that you weren’t using protection.”

Hillary’s eyes widened. “How?”

“As clever as you were hiding the pills, my eye caught them, even without my glasses,” Bill chuckled. “And not once did I think that you were betraying me. I thought that you wanted to start a family with me, and you were just taking things slow. To be honest, I would be ecstatic if I were about to be the father of your kids, Hilly.”

Bill was waiting for Hillary to say something. Like an announcement or a confirmation. Hillary, however, wasn’t taking his bait. It took quite a while for Bill to explicitly ask her if she was indeed pregnant.

“So? Did you do a test?”

Hillary bit her lip and slowly nodded, her eyes not meeting his. “Uhm-hmm.”

“And?”

Her eyes still distant, Hillary shook her head slowly. Tears began to fall again. “No, Billy. I’m not pregnant. I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

“Oh, Hilly!”

Instead of being crestfallen, Bill launched himself towards her and held her in a tight embrace, engulfing her in the enormous love and affection that he felt for her.

“Don’t be, my love,” he sniffed to controlled his tears that threatened to fall. “It isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning. If you want a child with me, then we’ll have one. If you don’t, then we won’t. You don’t have to appease me for anything, Hilly. You…just being you…it’s all I need. Nothing more, nothing less.”

And it was the absolute truth. Bill wanted her to know that she didn’t have to follow him, to make a decision or even to think, as he was ready to wait for her, to tell her that everything would be alright, to gladly support her in everything she wanted to do.

However, there was only one thing that she needed to do: take him. Possess him. Make him hers.

Withdrawing from his embrace, Bill picked up his bag and pulled an neatly pressed envelope that had been fading in a yellow colour. On the back of it was their name written in a scrawl that Hillary recognized as her mother’s, making her eyes widen in surprise. The envelope, which looked like it had been recently opened, was handed to Hillary after Bill saw the quiver on his girlfriend’s lips.

“Where…did…you…get…that?” Hillary struggled to voice out her thoughts.

“Hughie gave it to me,” Bill calmly explained, rubbing her shoulders, “he said he found it when he was cleaning your parents’ stuff in your bedroom when we were gone. He also told me that we should read it together. It must be something important.”

“It’s from my Mom and Dad…” Hillary remained shell-shocked, caressing the envelope with utmost adoration.

“It is. You want to know what she wanted to tell us?” Bill encouraged her.

Hillary nodded, appreciating his boost. With shaking hands and teary eyes, she gently opened the envelope. Her fingers touched two pieces of something smooth, like a cardboard. She pulled it out of the envelope, and she almost forgot  how to breathe when she saw what seemed to be two plane tickets. One was for a flight from Chicago to London, dated July 23, 1966, and the other was from London to Chicago, dated August 31, 1966.

And the passenger?

_Hillary Rodham._

Every sensation and every emotion in Hillary’s body had left her. All that remained was a shock. A complete and devastating shock. Her parents…her parents bought her tickets for London! They were going to send her to be with Bill after he had made the decision to remain in Oxford! And they did it right before they died!

Her brain had completely shut off, trying to process this new information.

Bill too was equally stunned. He too had never known about Hugh and Dorothy’s plans to send Hillary to him. He wanted to snatch the tickets away from Hillary and read them with his own eyes, but he didn’t want to intrude into something so sensitive and personal for her.

“Mom and Dad,” she whispered when the emotions started flooding back. “They…they wanted me to come to you. To patch things up between us.”

“They did,” Bill agreed. “They were rooting for us.”

“I know,” she smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her teary eyes. “And we failed them.”

“No, not yet, Baby,” Bill tried to lift her spirits up. “Let’s see the other contents of the envelope.”

Nodding, Hillary then pulled a neatly folded piece of paper. She gingerly opened it, and the two of them carefully read its contents:

**_July 16, 1966_ **

**_Dear Hillary and Bill,_ **

**_By the time you read this, both of you are in England and are together. We hope that you are enjoying your time together and have patched things up between yourselves._ **

**_Dear children, we want you to read this carefully and understand what we have to say. We didn’t send Hillary there simply for a vacation. The next few paragraphs will greatly impact your life and we ask that you take your time thinking and reflecting._ **

“Oh God.” The postmark shattered Hillary’s heart into a million pieces. “They wrote this letter the day before they died,” she wept. Hillary pressed her hands on her already swollen eyes, sobbing and wailing. Bill held her tighter and supported her when she felt like she was about to collapse. He too was devastated, but he couldn’t cry. No. Not in front of her. He had to be strong.

“Hilly, let’s continue,” he encouraged her. “We can make it through this.”

Hillary took a deep breath and composed herself. They then went back to the remainder of the letter.

**_We have sent Hillary to England not just for a short vacation with you, Bill, but for a chance to be with you for good. Hillary, darling, we want you to decide whether or not to stay in England to finish your studies with Bill. Do not worry about what the financial burden will be for us. We just want you to be happy and to have the best education possible. You are a bright girl, and you deserve all the best in life. And you won't have it until you're with Bill. So Hillary, Darling, if you want to stay with him, you have our permission and support. All your life, you have been an obedient and thoughtful girl. You always follow what we tell you to do. Now, it is time for you to follow your heart. If you truly love him, then you need to go after him. True love does not wait. It just doesn’t appear out of thin air. If you find it, then hold on to it._ **

“Bill!” Hillary shrieked with even more tears as she tore away from the letter and launched into him, clinging unto him for dear life. Her fingers dug his back, afraid that he would pull away from her grip. Her tears drenched the fabric of his shirt, which muffled her loud, wailing sobs. Her breathing was erratic and her cries were uncontrollable.

_Why?_

It was the question that circulated Hillary’s mind, now that she knew everything. Why did they have to die early? Why didn’t she and Bill ever know about the ticket and the letter? Why did the fates conspire to condemn her in this kind of punishment? What did they ever do to deserve this? If things hadn’t happened the way they happened, they wouldn’t have wasted ten fucking years moving on from each other. Both Hillary and Bill felt that they were robbed of a chance, a chance to build their lives and their dreams. As she wept, Hillary felt for her belly that wasn’t carrying anything, agonizing for the kids they might have had during those ten years. For the dreams they might have reached. 

For the love they might have shared. 

“Billy,” she whimpered, “I don’t think I can read this with you. Will you please read it for us?” she begged.

“Of course,” Bill wiped his own tears and pressed another kiss on her head.

**_Bill, we don't think that it bears repeating, but we will say it anyway: Take care of our daughter. She's in your hands now, and we trust that you will do everything in your power to protect her and care for her. We confess that we didn’t like you for her at the beginning._ **

**_But in time, we have come to see how much you love our baby girl.  We are sorry that it is because of us that you had to be separated from Hillary. As parents, we only want the best for her. We are glad that you are eager to prove yourself in our eyes. We know that the Rhodes scholarship was your way of showing us that you can provide for her,_ ** **_and we appreciate your efforts for it. We are thankful and glad that you came to our daughter’s life. We couldn’t have asked for a better man to be her future husband._ **

**_If you ever_ ** **_decide to marry her, we only ask that you let her finish her bachelor's degree. It is important for us to see our daughter reach her full potential. You can get married in her graduation day for all we care. Just let her fulfill her dreams too, okay?_ **

As Hillary silently wept on his chest, Bill contemplated on her parents’ last request to him.

_I’m sorry, Hugh and Dorothy. I’m sorry I didn’t do what you told me to do. All I had to do was to care for her, and I failed spectacularly. Forgive me, please. I plan to make it up for the rest of her life, if she’ll allow me to._

Sobbing, Bill read the final words in the letter:

**_Dear children, we want you to be happy. Live. love. laugh. These are all that matters in life, aren’t these? It shouldn't be hard to choose happiness. And you two – two brilliant kids with your whole lives ahead of you - shouldn't have to choose between love and career. It's very evident to us how much you love each other, and as parents, we should be supportive of our child's happiness._ **

**_Take care always. And take care of each other too._ **

**_With all our love,_ **

**_Hugh and Dorothy_ **

“Billy…” Hillary was back sobbing openly against him. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, sweetheart,” he assured her, his voice cracking. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, but you got hurt either way. I am sorry that you had to experience it,” she said.

Bill sniffed and nodded, appreciating her recognition of his pain, her concern and her agony for him.

“Billy,” Hillary pulled away. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Bill’s face fell. What she trying to break up with him?

“I don’t want to live in fear and doubt anymore,” she sighed tearily. “I am tired of second-guessing myself, speculating what could have been, being bitter with my life. I am so over it. I’ve been doing that for ten years and look at where it got me?”

The faintest flicker of hope kindled in Bill’s heart.

“Billy,” Hillary gently cupped his face, “I want to be with you. For good. Without preconditions or reservations. I want to build our dreams. I want to start our family. I want to meet other people and touch their lives. Haven’t we been dreaming of that?”

“Yes, yes, yes…” it was his turn to openly sob. “We do.”

“I love that you haven’t lost sight of our goals, even though I have. But worry no more, Billy. I will be your partner, your lover, your best friend. The person you can always rely on no matter what. I’ll be with you, Billy. I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

Bill, basking in her absolute declaration, was stunned. He came to her, having promised to himself that he would give up everything and follow her. He was even prepared to declare it, but with the weird twist of fate, the opposite had happened: she had ended up vowing to leave everything behind to be with him. Once again, she was able to sweep him off his feet, just like the day they first met at the library, when he had even forgotten his own damn name. It looked that he too would forget his name at that moment, because he had never been more ready to assume a new identity: her husband. 

_“_ Hilly,” he stroked her cheek with his finger. “You’re in luck.”

With a confused look, Hillary’s eyes followed Bill’s hand as it reached for his back pocket and produced a small velvet box, the same one he brought at the party but was never able to present to her. Her eyes widened and then blinked in disbelief.

Looking into his eyes, she saw that he too had become chocked up with tears swimming in his eyes. Somewhere in the hazy fog that had clouded her mind, she heard him speak.

"I know I haven't always been here for you, but I plan to make up for that. I swear. This is the fulfillment of my first promise, Hilly. I promised you that I would someday ask you to marry me. I came in ten years late, but I still made it,” he chuckled. “I am ready to make another promise, baby, if you’ll allow me. I love you, Hilly. I have since the day I met you. I love you with every fiber of my being. Will you marry me?"

_Yes, you can marry him because you love him that much_. As she stared into his eyes, Hillary saw her future and her destiny in them.

Holding his hand, Hillary looked at him, her bright eyes sparkling with happiness. "Yes, Billy. I'll marry you."

He closed his eyes, let loose the breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding. He then opened his eyes and stood up, picking her up from the sofa and swinging her around, kissing her. Once they stopped, he pulled her close, his face hiding in her soft brown hair and kissed the top of her head. She hugged him back, feeling his warmth as the tears fell down his shirt.

And then suddenly, he picked her up again and spun her around, laughter filling the air. When they

stopped, they dived into a hungry kiss, a kiss that poured ten years of want, desire and love into a few seconds worth. They took their time, knowing that they now had all the time in the world to catch up on what was lost, and perhaps build something bigger and better than what could have been.

Her mind was suddenly shifted to the present, kissing her fiancé passionately.  Bill grinned down on her. “Something wrong, my love?”

Hillary shook her head, a smile on her lips. "No, just saying goodbye," she said moving her gaze back up to him.

"Oh? To whom?"

"The past."      

He chuckled softly and then bent down to whisper in her ear, "I'm glad I came back home."

"Oh really? And why would that be?" she teased.

“Who would have thought the notoriously single Bill Clinton would pick up a wife?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long before I have written this chapter, the letter from Hillary's parents was almost complete in form, just waiting to be inserted between the paragraphs. The first time I wrote the letter...I was crying. Poor babies, though. If Hugh and Dorothy hadn't died (which I never addressed directly by the way. FYI, they died in a car crash. A truck hit them), Bill and Hillary would have been living happily. But IMO, what happened to them was the best possible scenario that they could ever had, apart from the supposed happy ending that didn't happen, of course. Even if Hillary decided to follow Bill in England, there was no assurance that they would remain with each other. Their separation, IMO, cemented their love for each other. They struggled, yes. But they made it through. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this fic as I much as I did writing this. Thanks a bunch to [grahamnortonrocks](http://grahamnortonrocks.tumblr.com) for being a great beta despite having gone through so much. 
> 
> After this...the epilogue.


	9. Chapter 9

 “Congratulations, Hillary!”

Hillary, fresh from her graduation ceremony, walked to a room full of family, friends, and well-wishers who had gathered to celebrate her milestone. A few hours before, she was officially conferred her law degree and was stunned to find Bill’s apartment packed with people who she knew and loved. She saw her brothers, her friends from college who were still living in Illinois and some of their colleagues in the White House too, all raising a glass of champagne, toasting to her success. Some were even sporting party hats and blowing horns, but their intention was the same: to celebrate Hillary and her success.

One by one, Hillary greeted the people who had shown up to congratulate her. Behind her was her husband, Bill, basking in the love and admiration being given to his wife. He, who had secretly planned this party, made sure that the guests were comfortable and that Hillary was having a good time.

It had been almost eight months since Bill and Hillary were married in his apartment in Chicago. A week after he proposed, the two couldn’t wait anymore to start building their lives together so they threw away all the wedding shenanigans and decided to marry the week after. Bill almost gave his mother a heart attack when he called her from Chicago and invited her to the wedding (she didn’t even know that Bill and Hillary had mended fences). Nevertheless, Virginia Clinton flew from Hope to Chicago to witness the marriage of her first-born son.

The wedding was simple and discreet, yet it was the most meaningful event of Bill and Hillary’s lives. It was the culmination of their journey, one of getting lost and finding their way back to each other again, and the beginning of a new one: of love, friendship and trust. As they said their vows, they couldn’t help but tear up in front of the minister and their small group of guests. Who would have thought that after they were torn apart and remained distant for ten years, they would end up in the same room, swearing their eternal love for each other?

Weeks after their wedding, the couple flew to England for their honeymoon. The first week was spent cleaning and sorting out Bill’s stuff in his flat. They sold the things that they didn’t need and packed those that could be useful in their new condo in DC (Bill broke the lease in his Chicago condo and rented a new one in DC, where they both started working and living). They had a fun time cleaning and reminiscing his experiences in England. There, Hillary got to know more about Bill’s life when they were still thousands of miles apart. He also arranged for a real estate agent to sell the flat on his behalf. Once they settled Bill’s affairs in order, that’s when their honeymoon really began. They visited places where he had been, walked in parks, drank in pubs and visited museums that had taken their interest. Bill even introduced Hillary to his former colleagues in Oxford (he had already resigned prior to coming back to the US), and a majority of the law faculty in Oxford was stunned to find serial dater and notoriously single Bill Clinton settled down with a smart, beautiful wife, whom they had no doubt that had completely taken his heart.

When they got back to DC, they immediately started their jobs in the White House. He was working in the West Wing and her in the East Wing. At noon, whenever their schedules permitted them to, they would meet at the cafeteria to eat lunch together and talk about their day so far, with a lot of heavy flirting in the middle. Hillary was a part of the tightly-knit staff of the First Lady, and their group was notorious for their unwavering loyalty to their boss. Bill had tried to extract information about the First Lady, but even playing the husband card could not get Hillary to spill anything. He even threatened her with abstention of sex (half-jokingly, of course) just to make Hillary talk, but his threat seemed to backfire on him. By Tuesday, he was already begging her to touch him, much to her pleasure.

The White House had been generous enough to let Hillary take some time off work to let her review for the DC bar. Bill had been a huge help too, sometimes making her notes and giving her homework. Bill thought that it was like his old Oxford days, giving assignments and spending hours poring over papers and critiquing them. Hillary was overly thankful and lucky to have a loving, supportive husband like Bill.

As the night went on, the crowd inside the house had thinned, until it was only Bill, Hillary and Vernon left. The three had stayed to clean-up after the party. They were all exhausted, but they were all happy, especially Hillary. When Vernon was in the kitchen, Hillary took the opportunity and gave Bill a deep passionate kiss, but pulled back when she felt that they were getting carried away.

“I’m sorry, Billy,” she smiled, as they sat on the couch. “Not now.” She pouted her lips oh so sexily and pointed to the kitchen, where Vernon was.

“Of course, Baby,” Bill cupped her hip. “Later.”

“Later,” her eyes twinkled.

As they waited for Vernon to come back to give them the leftover food, they lounged on the couch, marveling at how perfect their life was right now, how they were so grateful and nothing could make them happier. Unbeknownst to both, there was still something in store for them: Hillary was already several weeks along, and it wouldn’t be for another three weeks before they find that out.

Basking in happiness, Bill and Hillary gazed past the large window and into the beautiful night sky, admiring the moon and the twinkling stars.

In a few hours, the dawn would come. But in their lives, it already had. The darkest night had already passed, and the sun was shining brightly, just like their future.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry the epilogue took quite a while to post. But I hope you enjoyed reading my fic overall. I'll be chill with my remaining fics in the coming weeks because I have an exam coming up (again). Anyway, thank you so much to you all!


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